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How do I know that I'm gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ingridfigueired, Oct 16, 2013.

  1. ingridfigueired

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    I been thinking about this lately. If I'm gay or not. But I am, the only problem is that I keep trying not to be gay. I think what my parents gonna say, what my friends are going to say. I'm really scared!
     
  2. Fiddledeedee

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    *super subtle bump though I can't offer much advice at the moment, I'm afraid*
     
  3. cdk

    cdk
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    I'm in slightly similar position as you, however being with a girl makes sense to me in my head. The thought of being with a guy completely repulses me. So, try to think of it that way, do you see yourself in a relationship with a girl? The whole nine yards, the white picket fence, 2 kids, cat but wife instead of husband? And you are allowed to change your mind, I'm assuming you're in your teens/early 20's, this is the time for you to experiment, you aren't necessarily going to be "locked in" a sexuality per se. Who knows, you may fall in love with a man down the track. Nothing is certain in this life. Just give it the best shot you can. HTH
     
  4. STM29

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    Heyho :slight_smile:

    First step is to get sure about you're feelings and what you want, and not so much what others will say. That comes later.
    And it sounds like you are sure that you're gay. So the next step is accepting it! You should try to accept you the way you are before you can expect acceptance from other people.
    I made the experience that the more you are comfortable with yourself and likes who you are, the less other people will offend you or turn theier back at you or something like that.

    I was also scared what my parents gonna say. Do you know that you're parents are relaxed and cool or are they conservative and have a problem with gay people in general? This question should help you to decide how you can confront them best with the truth.
    But I was not scared at all about what friends would say. I know my friends, I know they like me the way I am, I know that they are open minded and support LGBT. So I never had to hide something. It makes it so much easier to know that there are people you can trust and you get help and support when you need it.
    But don't forget: First accept yourself and all other steps will be much easier! And I'm sure you are a lovely person :slight_smile:
    Good luck! Keep your head up :thumbsup:
     
  5. FreeFlow9917

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    It's up to you, only you have the choice to your call. I know it's tough as fuck but i've been at where you're at, and trust me i'm only out to my mom because she understands, but it's o.k.. As an open idea, why don't you journey yourself in your mind and look back at your fantasies. I didn't realize i was gay until this year, and that was 6-7 months after i took a mentally depriving journey through past attractions. I realized i had gay thoughts at 13 and didn't realize it.

    If i were you, talk to one of your closest friends, or maybe a trusted adult, they may understand what you are going through. In the long run, it'll be yourself who decides it if you are gay or not. Religious wise (just in case) god made you in his vision, so if you get lectured for feeling this way remember the golden rule. I hope this helped a little, try talking to your parents about this, i know when i did my mom was fucking shocked like a thunderstorm, and she showed disappointment. Eventually she understood though of what i felt like, and this helped me make my decision.
     
  6. arcchi

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    Everybody (or the most of us) pass for it.

    In myself i called it the denial stage. When i first noticed my crush in a girl, i denied it a lot, most cuz i was afraid of being excluded for the people i love (friends, family).

    In my case i know the right moment i tell my family this will become a completely drama story. And it is on my case, for you could be different. But you know what... You can be afraid about what your birth family will think about you, but there are still the family you choose to yourself: your friends. Ok, some of them could not accept it, but this one's (belive me) never were your real friends. You will find friends that will accept you by who you really are, and they will love you. I found it, and i'm sure you will too.

    If you get sure about your feelings, about being lesbian, in some point you will accept it by yourself, so do your friends and eventually your family.
     
    #6 arcchi, Oct 23, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2013