I've been wrecking all your heads with all my recent posts, I know I'm sorry! This is just the most I have ever been confused sexually in my life. Firstly, I'm terrified of coming out as bi because I am terrified it is just a phase to lesbian land. I'm not terrified of being gay, but I don't want to give up on noys because I do enjoy penetrative sex with men and I am not comfortable being physical with a woman, although the fantasy does arouse me. Now I know I am most happy when I don't think about any of this stuff and just go out with a "f**k it" attitude. I have also been in more straight relationships (which feel instinctively right to me) and I had one same sex experience ( which was not comfortable but I still feel curious, never went further than boobs & kissing). I go through phases where I love a few guys and I really like them or I like no one. I also go through phases of being obsessed of winning the approval of girls I think who are cool, which I am starting to recognise (I think) as attraction. Sometimes when I am away from my best friend I think I am actually in love with her (but when we are together I don't feel that way anymore). I will fall for the emotionally unavailable guys and make myself only available to them and find reasons left right and centre to avoid the guys who want to date me and persue relationships with me (I find them unattractive or too nice or something). I have never been in a relationship longer than 3 months. I'm worried I am reading to much into these attractions and making myself paranoid instead of just going out and enjoying myself. And I just keep working stuff up in my head. Like this consumes my head and any fre time I have and takes over my mind. I believe sexuality is fluid but I am afraid of losing my attraction for one gender and I feel like coming out but I don't know what I am yet I just feel like it will be liberating somehow. Do you guys ever stop thinking about this stuff? Does it consume your day or mind like mine? Is that a sign? Sorry for constantly posting :L ...must be sick of me at this stage :L
You probably aren't going to lose your attraction to one gender. Are you going to have preferences? Probably. I have yet to meet a bisexual who is completely 50/50 down the middle attracted. The idea that being bisexual is just a lead-in to being gay is a myth. Don't be afraid of having a preference, because no matter what, you are going to make the choice that feels right to you. But you are making both your present and your future by worrying about something thatmight happen. It also might help if you maybe try to have more intimacy with the same sex, as you sound really inexperienced. Probably shouldn't hook up with some random girl, but maybe try flirting with an available female.
It's okay to question your sexuality Don't go overthinking though (Well, I know it can become obsessive ...). As Abbra said, you're not going to lose your attraction to one genre because you admit having sexual fantasies on girls, and well, maybe this could mean more ... or not And the best part, is that YOU get to define what it means, whether you simply want to experiment or maybe you're bi Don't stress out on labelling yourself and...As you said yourself, you'd better go out there and enjoy yourself Good luck
