Hi. I'm a 33 yr old male. I have live-in girlfriend but the reason I'm here is because I'm going though a very confused phase. This phase isn't new, I have phases now and then where I'm convinced I'm gay bur I watch some gay porn/images, masturbate and after a few days I decide I'm not gay and happy with my heterosexual lifestyle. I love my girlfriend but am not so attracted to her as I used to be. These 'gay phases' are becoming increasingly more regular though and it is making me very confused! I had sex with a guy in my teens and experimented with him on several occasions -I can only say I loved every minute of it! (except kissing, that felt weird). I've kind of accepted over the many years since (and gradually) that I do have homosexual thoughts and I'm quite comfortable with them for a while, but then put to back of my mind and forget them until they resurface. I am attracted to women and have had more emotional and physical relationships with them, but this thing won't go away. Am I gay but in denial or bi or mostly straight with occasional gay thoughts because of my teen experiences? If a guy walked in to my room tonight, I would definitely want to get physical -ask me next week and I might give different answer. Any advice appreciated!
Given that you've had experience with a guy before and apparently very much enjoyed it while also finding women attractive, I'd suggest that you're bisexual. The rapid switches back and forth in your attractions isn't something I've heard of on EC before, although for some people sexuality is apparently somewhat 'fluid', shifting over time. Maybe you just operate on a really fast cycle? You don't give any sense that the idea of sex with a guy bothers you (quite the opposite if you're in the right frame of mind), but there is the issue of your girlfriend. Unless you have an open relationship, it wouldn't be fair to her for you to go out and do stuff with guys when you're with her, but in the mood. Presuming that you do with to maintain the relationship, then perhaps it would be best to just continue masturbating to gay stuff when you're in the mood, but otherwise not pursuing it. What you may choose to do if you are not in a relationship (or are in an open relationship) is another matter of course. Hope this helps, Todd
