Thanks before hand before taking your time to read this. Just to explain a few things about myself, I come from a conservative family, my dad hates homosexuals. Umm ever since I was a kid I was attracted to woman, didn't find men attractive at all...but then I hit puberty and I started to dwelve into masturbation and I soon became interested in anal play and from there I started to have an attraction to transexuals and now i'm 16 and I don't know if im straight anymore or if i'm gay or bisexual, I mean sometimes I would look at gay porn and would have an erection, other times I wouldn't get one and like I've never masturbated to gay porn, only straight but I just don't know what I am, its killing me, i'm closed my self away from family and friends and this whole thing is so confusing, i've never had a crush on a boy before only girls and I remember having crushes on girls only. But I do notice attractive guys but i dont know if I look at them in a sexual sense or in a sense where I wished I looked like them or something,i'm so confused and I just want to know if i'm gay or if this is a phase i'm going through because its been like this for about 3 years and all of it revolves around anal pleasure not only of me but of girls aswell. I'm sorry this post is all muddled up i'm just so stressed out and frustrated. Please help me out
No on can really tell you if your gay or going through a phase because only you will know the true answer to that. Maybe you should give anal sex a try, that is if your sexually active because to me it sound like maybe that is something you would want to try sexually. Only a suggestion, but if you do just be safe. As for your parents I'm sorry to hear that man. What ever you are gay, straight, curious or what ever other terms people may use to describe themselves just know that you are not alone. I wish I could give you better advice but that all I have to say. I wish you the best of luck and the strength to move forward.
Thank you for your advice, I just hope I find out soon. But like before puberty I always knew I was straight and if sexual orientation is pre disposed then wouldn't I still be straight? And its not a emotional attraction to the same gender its all sexual :/
Hi, and welcome. Sexual orientation is generally considered to be fixed either before birth or very, very early in life, so it doesn't and can't change. But there are many aspects of ourselves that don't express until later in life, such as the changes that occur during puberty. And there are many people who remain blissfully unaware they're gay until puberty sets in (and even, for some people, much later, into their 20s or 30s or beyond.) So it wouldn't be uncommon to be unaware you were attracted to guys until puberty. Now... that said, I'm not saying you're gay, but I also want to be careful about talking about "a phase" because it's generally pretty well documented that people don't have "phases" where they are gay and then later become straight. I do think that lots of teens momentarily question their sexuality, and it's possible that's what's going on for you, but it's hard to say for sure given what you've said. Also, anal play doesn't automatically mean you're gay either, as anal stimulation is something that is a biological pleasure center rather than something associated with your sexual attractions. So here's what you need to think about: Putting aside the pleasure you get from anal play (which you can enjoy whether you're gay or straight), if you want to come to a clearer answer, you need to explore your sexual attractions. It sounds like perhaps you haven't really allowed yourself to think about actually being gay, and what that would be like so... simply let yourself explore that idea. Masturbate (without porn) and think about guys a few times, imagine what you'd do, or they'd do to you, and so forth. Then do the same thing thinking about girls. If you look at porn, try masturbating to gay porn (choose guys you find attractive so you'll be fair with yourself about it; don't go looking for grandpa porn or something and use that to prove you're not gay.) And then try masturbating with straight porn. Compare the two. Which is more arousing? Which gets you more excited? Keep in mind... the gay porn may be a combination of exciting and revulsing because part of you may resist the idea that you could be gay, but for most straight guys, gay porn won't be even remotely arousing, so if you are finding it strongly arousing, more so than straight porn, that tells you something. The important thing here is to give yourself time, and to do your best not to judge, rationalize, or try to justify a particular outcome, only to experience and observe it. If you are comfortable reporting back what your experiences are, we may be able to give you more insight.
