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confused or denial?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by sinkorswim, Oct 20, 2013.

  1. sinkorswim

    Regular Member

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    hai, I regularly read posts on here and quite a few have helped me a lot lately but there's not a post that relates directly to me so I thought I'd post one in the hope you guys can help me..

    basically, I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now & I'm very much in love & being with her has helped me accept and embrace the fact that I love women. Before this my best friend of 4 years & I got drunk & had sex so these two people are the only one's I've had sex with. Sorry if I'm coming across as crude, I truly apologise! I'm just trying to give a good image of my situation. I have kissed guys before but only while drunk, I gave a guy a blow job once & NEVER AGAIN.. I was scarred for life, it was a horrible experience for me, idk if it was because it felt forced or because I don't like penis..

    I'm out to my family & friends as bisexual but I don't imagine ever being with a man but I can appreciate a good looking man & be attracted to them, not in a relationship way or a sexual way just like "wow, they're beautiful". When I came out as bisexual I truly believed I was but now I'm with my girlfriend it seems like any feelings I had towards guys were fake (I have never had a boyfriend, this is my first relationship, I always thought when I had a crush on a guy that it was over rated because I wasn't totally taken aback by my feelings). I knew as soon as I knew what attraction was that I like women, I wasn't sure about men & as soon as I kissed my now girlfriend for the first time I knew that was what I was meant to feel when I kissed a guy but never did.

    So my dilemma is am I in denial about being gay? Or because I had a bad experience with a guy am I doubting my feelings towards men? I've never been strongly attracted to a man ever & although my only experience with a man was bad so was my first same sex encounter (she forced me to do things yet I know I'm more attracted to women than men)

    I'm so confused at the moment and it's really stressing me out so all advice is welcome, I'm sorry if I've come across as crude, I really apologise, I'm so sorry if I've offended anyone!
     
  2. Keepitdiscrete

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    i know 1st hand what you mean by knowing and appreciating when someone of the opposite sex is attractive, but not in a sexual way. And how confusing it is... All i do is try to live my life without labeling myself too much. I'll figure things out as they come. You seem to be in a happy relationship with your girlfriend, so I wouldn't focus on labeling yourself. It doesn't really matter at this point. If you guys break up, and you end up with a guy (whom you genuinely love and are attracted to) then so be it! There's no point in wondering if you might maybe kinda like guys when you're in a happy relationship.
     
  3. planets

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    Some people
    A friend of mine always shouts "sperm donor" whenever she thinks a guy looks hot.
     
  4. sinkorswim

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    I'm not gonna worry about it too much I guess, it'll come to me.

    ---------- Post added 24th Oct 2013 at 06:12 PM ----------

    hahahahaha! I love that! :slight_smile: