To start with, I'm a 21 y.o. male living in the Midwest US. What I've been going with for the last 3 years (the most recent two of which I've been dating my current boyfriend) is that I'm gay, and a lot of the time that's true. But sometimes I just have these stretches of days or weeks where I have no sexual desire at all, and I almost feel bad for my boyfriend since I never want to have sex during those times. Before I met him I had many times considered that asexual describes me best. But most of the time I DO want to have sex with him, and am attracted to men otherwise in porn and whatnot. Does this happen to other people? Should I just ignore this? It sometimes causes minor problems in our relationship, and I can never really offer anything more than "Sorry, that's just the way it is". Any and all advice welcome! (And I'm sorry that I'm using my first post to ask for advice, I'll try and contribute to the forums to make up for it!)
I just wonder what he must be thinking when you tell him "Sorry, that's just the way it is". If Mike ever told me that, I would think he has someone else... Or something was wrong whit what I was providing. I would freak for sure! But we both have high sex drives and are quite active, so it would be a change from normal. Have you explained to him that you have asexual tendencies? I think you need to have open communication of your needs and desires so he knows it is normal for you and to bare with you as things will come back around to sex again when you cycle to asexuality. So he knows it has nothing to do with him, or you looking elsewhere. After 2 years I would think you two would be close enough to have worked through any issues. Good Luck! June
