Sorry if this doesn't fit in this forum, but I tried. I've been thinking about labels, and how useless they are. While I'm using them, though, I might as well get the one by which I identify in order. The Kinsey Scale is a self-assesment used to determine sexual orientation at a given time. It measures sexuality from 0 to 6 and 'X', where 0 is exclusively heterosexual and 6 is exclusively homosexual. I've copied it here, from Wikipedia. Rating Description 0 Exclusively heterosexual. Individuals make no physical contact which results in erotic arousal or orgasm and make no psychic responses to individuals of their own sex. 1 Predominantly heterosexual/incidentally homosexual. Individuals have only incidental homosexual contacts which have involved physical or psychic response or incidental psychic response without physical contact. 2 Predominantly heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual. Individuals have more than incidental homosexual experience and/or respond rather definitely to homosexual stimuli. 3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual. Individuals are about equally homosexual and heterosexual in their experiences and/or psychic reactions. 4 Predominantly homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual. Individuals have more overt activity and/or psychic reactions in the homosexual while still maintaining a fair amount of heterosexual activity and/or responding rather definitively to heterosexual contact. 5 Predominantly homosexual/only incidentally heterosexual. Individuals are almost entirely homosexual in their activities and/or reactions. 6 Exclusively homosexual. Individuals who are exclusively homosexual, both in regard to their overt experience and in regard to their psychic reactions. I feel that I fall around a 5. Definitely not totally straight, not completely gay but not really 'bisexual with a preference' either. I don't see myself dating women in the future, and I have every intention to marry a guy. I could (and did previously) identify as bi w/ preference. The problem with that is that I was told bisexuals (bi men specifically): A) Are Perverts B) Are confused C) Are nonexistent D) Are mentally disadvantaged. So I thought, well, even pro-gay people might hold these reservations. Why not just identify as gay? But that makes people think, then, that I'm totally gay. That my relationships with girls were meaningless. (They weren't.) I can't have this handy infobox thing that says "Orientation: Gay, Kinsey 5' taped to my chest." (Or can I?) Alfred Kinsey et al. said that while most of the human population falls between 1 and 5, sans 3. 3 (perfect bisexuality), 0 and 6 are supposedly the least popular demographic. This implies that 'we're all a little bi,' which definitely carries some truth. So is it wrong for me to say I'm gay, when really my feelings are more bisexual than black or white, one or zero? I think if/when I start my new life (move away from family; keep my friends), I'll go as bi...but still, I'm nervous. I heard the story of my poor, poor bisexual friend of my cousin's who was out to dinner with his wife and longtime friend of his wife. They were talking about sexuality, and bisexuality and he said on a whim that he was in fact bisexual. His wife's friend looked at his wife in amazement, then bewilderment. She swallowed her food then blurted, "How can you trust a pederast perv polygamist to be loyal!?" My cousin's friend left the table, obviously offended. I suppose I'm questioning..., now that I dwell on it. But I'll be fine with myself, whatever the decision. This I know.
I'm not sure if I can be of much help, but I also identify as a 5 on the Kinsey scale. I have been with men in the past and I enjoyed those relationships. However, I discovered that my relationships with women are more fulfilling emotionally. Even though, I often find myself attracted to some men, so I guess I could be bisexual as well, but with a preference for women. However, I think it is a bit misleading to identify as bisexual because I have a stronger desire to be with women. Obviously, what was said about bisexual men is simply not true at all and you know that. Although, I will admit that hearing anything negative about who you are is unsettling. I guess the only thing you can do is to not let what others think of you get under your skin. I know that it isn't easy because it is challenging living in a predominately heterosexual world.
Exactly. And although I've never actually HAD a relationship with a guy, I know my feelings are more intense and...'fuller' for guys, than for girls. I guess it may make more sense to say I'm gay for now though. It may help to say that for some people sexuality IS fluid, while for others it isn't. I know it's wrong. It's just unsettling.
