long story short.. I kissed several guys and felt absolutely nothing.. I felt like kissing was almost overrated in a sense actually. Then I kissed a girl & literally saw the cliché of fireworks in my head and I'm now with my girlfriend of 5 months and I have never been happier in my whole life. I knew since around 12 that I wasn't straight but recently I'm questioning if I even want to be with a guy at all although I'm out to everyone as bisexual.. I imagine growing old with a woman, hopefully my girlfriend.. sweaty balls do not sound appealing to me at all :eusa_naug I just need some advice and basically how you came to the realisation that you were gay/lesbian, I think I might be a lesbian but yeah.. still unsure. :bang:
I don't know why you consider you could be a bisexual, there's nothing in your story that says you like guys. ???
I thought at the time I came out that I did like guys because I had the usual "crushes" on guys but it didn't seem magical or anything? but when I kissed my now girlfriend it was like I realised all the "crushes" were really fake. My confusion is that I can see a guy and think "damn.. he is really attractive" but I know I want to be with a woman for he rest of my life? but I've never had a boyfriend so how do I not know that I just haven't met a guy I connect with, emotionally and sexually? I'm sorry if I've been confusing :eusa_doh:
Yea I agree nothing in your story says your bi u can still appreciate a good looking guy as a gay women x
There's nothing wrong to recognize good looking men, we're not blind, are we? The question is if you desire to be with that man, kiss him, cuddle with him, to be intimate with him, if you can imagine to be in a relationship with him or even spend the rest of your life with him... or men in general. But you already answered that question and women it is. That's what really matters, I think.
how did you eventually accept that you're a lesbian? I have a feeling this will be hard:/ I'm quite deep in denial..
Don't worry about the labels much. You're happy with the person you love and you have an awesome mother who's very supportive to you. But to answer your question... I realized I could be gay only a few months ago and my very first thought was that it'd make complete sense. But still I identified as a bi at first because I've been in a relationship with a guy, still care about that guy (even though the last years I take him more like a best friend), and the sex is okay. Also, thinking I'm bi felt less scary than admitting I'm gay back then. I was thinking that as a bi I could still fulfil the norm of the straight society, right? But the more I contemplate about that relationship of mine and men in general the more I understand that I've never really wanted to live with a man or marry a man. Besides the idea of being intimate with any other man does feel unpleasant. I used to think, probably as a part of the denial?, it's because I care about my bf and wouldn't wanna cheat on him and so, but later I realized that I'm not really attracted to men, hence don't think about them sexually. In general the more I learn about myself the less I'm able to deny my true self and who I really am. I can't deny that I get turned on by women and desire to be with a woman, both sexually and non-sexually. Still it's not easy because I have to come out to my family sooner or later, and especially my bf and I don't wanna hurt anyone. It scares the shit out of me. :eusa_doh:But yesterday I found the courage and told him that I like women. It's a start, a start of the inevitable, because I can't keep lying myself anymore. :icon_bigg
I Identified with this SO MUCH, thank you! I feel like since everyone knows I'm at least "bisexual" it's just easily to stay labelled as that.. and that's so good that you told him, well done! that must have taken a lot of courage, thank you son much for this post, it really helped me
