Anal fetish - how to tell gf?

Hey there.

First of all, anal stimulation, and even enjoying it doesn't make you gay. There are lots of nerve endings there, and with the prostate there too, one could argue it's almost mechanical.

Secondly, I don't even think watching gay porn makes you gay. Too many people use porn as this sexuality barometer, but I don't think it works like that at all. Plenty of people have fantasies about things that would turn them off in real life.
Also, even in straight porn - there's a lot of erect male members around, don't you think? One of my gay friends even said he sometimes watched straight porn because he liked some of the actors. Go figure.

Don't worry about labelling yourself. It isn't worth it. Be yourself, and take the time to figure out what you want. Contrary to the media's message, there is no rush to do this. By ignoring social validation, you can eliminate a key worry: other people's opinions.

What I'd advise depends on the following statement being true:

"Your girlfriend is someone you trust implicitly and wouldn't betray that trust and guard your personal information even if you split up."

If this is true, then I would personally advise the following:

Be honest with her. Tell her what you've told us. You like anal stimulation, you don't think you're gay, but you're a bit confused now.

You might need to go on a journey to find out the answer, and if you have someone you can trust by your side, it will be a lot better.

Yes, even this little bit of information may push your girlfriend away, however, I still recommend honesty, because a relationship is a two-way thing, and she has feelings and orientations which must be respected as much a yours. Slightly judgementa perhaps, but I feel that a good partner will at least offer some level of support.

Also, once you've been completely honest with her, then you can avoid what is inevitably worse - hiding a lie, or burying a truth.

Also, look up 'pegging' on wikipedia.

Chin up, my friend, all is not lost.

 

A few years ago I came out to a gf about bein bi xd and anal play was one of the first things to come up she was kinda shaky at first but then found out she loved the role reversal. Also if your worried about how to bring it up I found it usefull to test the water first wi some mild role play ect

 

I am not qualified to say you are suffering from depression, but I've heard similar symptoms from other people before.

You're going through a period of emotional stress. It's understandable. If it gets too bad, however, please see a professional about it. It doesn't mean you're bonkers or anything. In modern western society depression is excruciatingly common. But no stigma, no shame, OK?

This, I'm afraid you need to work out - with the girl in question or whoever you choose to be your partner.

The more I read and learn, the more adamant I am with this. The simple fact of the matter is, there are so many pressure groups out there. So many people who want you to be the same as them and join their label. But that doesn't respect you fully...

You and your situation is unique to any other person. Some people might have been in similar spots - sure. But just think about the billions of factors that go into crafting your life and your situation. How old you are. Your personality. The school you went to. Who your friends are/were. Where your parents were raised. What media you've been exposed to. etc etc.

The human mind can't comprehend such a list of variables and form an exact answer. You'd go bonkers.

Then add on top of that all of these factors apply to your girlfriend, and then the interaction between the both of you.

What i'm trying to say is that, though you feel your situation may bear similar resemblances to what you've heard, you MUST understand that logically speaking, you, your situation and your reality are unique to you.

Your girlfriend is supportive and honest - you're a lucky person

You're scared not only for yourself, but also because you don't want to hurt and shatter her life, am I correct?

If that's the case, then honesty is definitely the best policy. Work through the journey together and don't live under any false pretenses.

There's no easy solution for this. But, this is true of life as a whole, right?

As for problems with getting it up, don't read into it. I had problems getting it up once, because the girl was a virgin and she was nervous. It didn't feel right, psychologically speaking, to go forward when she was in that state of mind.
Since then I've had experiences which, if I shared, would be ridiculed as fiction. Let's just say, I felt justified in calling myself virile. Hahaha.

If it does become a persistent issue, however, then definitely go and see your doctor

Of course, I cannot know everything - your situation is unique. But I really don't think it's all doom and gloom for you mate, not at all.

You're together with someone and it sounds like you love each other - and that's what's important. The media is obsessed with it, but I'd suggest stopping labelling yourselves all together, and just concentrating on what's important right now. Maybe later, if it's important you can think about it a little bit, but really, right now knowing what's best for the both of you should come before any labels.

All the best

 

As Saturn7 wrote, anal is not exclusively "gay only can enter" part of the men's body. You like being stimulated in there and there's nothing wrong with that and that doesn't make you gay either. As you said you don't fantasizes about a guy doing it to you, you just like to watch the anal penetration itself, right?
(I, for example, like to watch creampie but that doesn't mean that a guy cumming inside me is something on my Bucket List, quite the opposite actually, and I only watch it from the male perspective.)

As you know, women can be sexually stimulated on the inside and on the outside. So do men. It's just in straight intercourse it's rather "normal" that female is being stimulated especially on the inside (vagina) and male on the outside (penis).
I imagine the orgasm from penis stimulation in male like clitorial orgasm in female and the g-spot orgasm like prostate orgasm. I personally like both stimulations so why wouldn't men, right?

Have you ever watched a porn where a woman pleases a man anally? Would you like to try that with your girlfriend? You wrote that you like feeling manly and dominant in bed but during this particular activity you'd be the submissive one... and it's also about the trust between you two...