Gay 20 Year Old Virgin Help :(

nah, im 20.5 years old and still virgin. Being a virgin is not a bad thing, you know? It's one of those thing that society is pushing and you don't have to follow society. (Kind of like the white picket nuclear family thing that don't apply to everyone since some people lives in apartment or townhouse or something)

 

I was 24 before I lost my virginity. My advise wait, until it feels right and it's the right person.

 

I lost my virginity when I was 19.

I regret sleeping with a lot of the people I have done. I wish I had treated myself with more respect and not fallen for media bull crap.

Why does some freak who makes a TV show or writes a magazine/web page get to decide what's normal for you?

I strongly support the two posters above me.

 

26 and in the same boat as you.... A virgin, never been kissed. Also I have a very low self worth.

This is just my opinion on the situation. I think that never having anyone show interest, in a romantic way towards us, only leads to us doubting our own worth. Questioning if anyone ever will have an interest. It really makes us lose hope. I understand where you are coming from.



Recently I confessed my feelings towards an online friend I've known for 9 years. He actually said he's interested in me as well! He said that he loves me and out of anyone he's ever known I'm the person he wants to get to know better and be closer too.

I mean, that's amazing right? It felt amazing... The thing is, because it's so different for me... I am having an extremely hard time believing it. No one has ever said anything like that to me, how can it be true? I'm in a lot of doubt over it, I actually think it's at the point where it is starting have a negative effect on our friendship.

I find it difficult to just accept it. It's taken a long time but slowly, very slowly, I can start to see the truth in his words. And that alone makes me feel hope it is possible.

(Sorry for the long story, I sort of wanted to vent...)



I think it's important for you to know though your not alone. There is someone out there for you, I can guarantee it. Don't give up hope and just find a random person to "get it over with". Wait, find someone who your comfortable with, someone who wants to be with you. I'm sure it will be worth it!

Don't feel pressure from society to be someone you don't want, or aren't ready to be. Make your own choices, be your own person and be proud of it! There are too many mindless "clones" in the world as it is!

(Also, from what I know of it, there is no need to worry about your first time, take things slow, lots of lube and it'll be fine (great!)... stressing will only make it worse.) I think that's another fantastic reason to find someone who wants to be with you, they will be more supportive and help you with such things. (A random person who just wants the sex might not be so understanding!) In the end that support will give you a much better outlook on sex.

 

We're only 6 years apart. I'm sorry but I'm really desperate, like I've made out with many people it's just I've never had a boyfriend, so yeah. But I feel your pain. </3
Cry with me sometime? Hm?

 

28 here and still a virgin. Never been kissed either.

I agree with everyone above. Having someone you trust to share that first sexual experience rather than a random hookup is more likely help you develop a healthy outlook on sex .

 

Yeah, what people are saying, it's really not that big of a deal. I know they say this in the movie all the time, but it really is best if you have someone you like to experience things with

 

Yaaaaah....dude seriously I'm 23 I've never been kissed, or been in a relationship of any kind therefore never had sex...20 is still young so, just b patient and honestly The thought of going out and fucking some random person has crossed my mind as we'll but I think doing that would just make make me feel really shitty after so I would advise u to not do that. Oh and another thing...u being a 20yr old virgin is really not somthing to b embarrassed about! I'm sure ALOT of us here on EC are 20 and up and never been kissed etc!

 

Theres nothing wrong with being virgin. But I know the feeling, cause I used to feel uncomfortable about it too. My first kiss and first relationship happened when I was 26, so... I think that you should wait for right person and moment...

 

20 isn't that old. My Dad was I believe about 22 when he lost his Virginity and my Mom was about 23 when she did. Just take your time, because you don't need to rush it. Just relax and you'll be okay.

But to raise your Self-Esteem, try talking to a trusted friend, adult, or Therapist, or something similar. If you want, I can help you. Just ask and I will, anytime.

 

rushing into things will not necessarily help your self esteem its better to wait until you find someone who makes you feel great sex is not the be all and end all i went through a phase where i slept about a fair bit (bout 8 people in 5 months) and if anything it made me feel worse about myself

 

Same here, i've yet to do anything with another guy. Scared for the first time.

 

I had my first proper kiss at 20 and didn't have sex until I was 22. I'm glad I waited that long, because it meant my first time was with someone who I trusted enough to feel safe and comfortable with.

Also, it doesn't mean you'll always be "behind the eight ball". In the four years since I first kissed someone, I've kissed something like fifty more people.

 

I'm still an anal virgin... :tears:

But in any case, don't put so much pressure on yourselves guys. Don't try to find the right one, find yourself guys you want to be friends with, then see if a relationship develops, then think about having sex. The hookup culture isn't for romantics... Things will happen for you guys when it feels right to you.

Meaningless sex is not going to increase your self-esteem.

And yes, not having anyone tell me I was cute, or desired was a tough thing to deal with growing up. I'm still dealing with it. But the trick is, no amount of random hookups will fill that need inside of you to be loved.

 

Ehm... kindly check the date of the thread before posting. This thread was last posted in in 2014 before it got resurrected. The OP last checked in in 2013 as well.

so: empathy and advice is appreciated, but maybe best focused on active threads!