Hi, 17 year old girl here. I am sexually and emotionally(sometimes) attracted to guys, but lately I've formed the tendency to develop really strong interests in girls, and I don't know how exactly to categorize my feelings for them. A few years ago I had an isolated incident where I really liked this one girl first just emotionally, but it developed in such a way that I began liking her physically too. That was just once though and this girl was special. However, since then, I have become way more open to the topic of fluid sexuality and I find myself considering girls more in a way that I never would have if not for my first obsession with that one girl. Occasionally I will find myself extremely emotionally attracted to a girl in that I think they're awesome and a fantastic person, which if not for my experience with that other girl mentioned earlier, could easily be construed as just like a natural I-want-to-be-your-friend feeling. I haven't and don't feel any sexual attraction toward them (that 1st girl is the only one I ever felt sexually for and that's because I liked her already so much emotionally) and the furthest I could imagine going with a girl is like a kiss or a makeout session (anything more turns me off). However, I definitely feel sexually for guys and I can completely imagine going very far sexually with them and the prospect of that turns me on. I am also emotionally attracted to tough guys for sure. The thing is, I feel like I'm also very emotionally attracted to girly girls and I find them adorable. I love the cute outfits they wear and I have at least 3 girls on my mind, one of whom I think about more and mote lately, and for them I just like their personalities so much and we are friends and talk, but don't like hang out beyond that, we just like talk in class or during our extracurricular activities, but we are part of differeny social groups. I had a dream last night that I liked one of them and it was weird. Sorry foe the long post, thanks for sticking around this long I'm just confused. I can have these girls on my mind for long parts of the day and recently I've found no guys who I'm nearly as emotionally attracted to. However, I'm still very sexually attracted to guys and not really that much the girls, though I wouldn't mind making out/dry humping. Am I bi? Is this just like a feeling of friendship, or something more? I know I actually likes that first girl, but that was just one incident. Could I be straight and just appreciative of my gender? Based on all of what I have told you, what do you guys think? Thanks for the honest and insightful replies.
It could be one of a few possibilities. The first one is that you're repressed homosexual who's been conditioned into liking men, but now your attraction to them is slowly dying as your true attraction sprouts from its grave. But sexually is such a complex thing that it's hard to say if that's what it is. For most of my life, I thought I was straight, but I can feel attraction to men, but it takes a lot to trigger it. Basically there's a lot of middle ground and due to your age, you still may not have discovered your true sexuality, even after you've spend so much time ruminating about it. In a narrow sense you can say you are Bisexual because you admitted an attraction to another woman. The likelihood that you are Bisexual would become undeniable if you had experienced more attraction to other women, but the way you describe it elads to me to believe that you, like me, are somewhere on the scale of straight-Demi-sexual with strong leanings for men. Another possibility is that this can just be a phase. People float through them all the time. Sometimes, these things can be very surprising, especially if you were brought up in a strict household where these feelings would be considered immoral/wrong.
I think you're old enough to know if what you are feeling for girls is more than just admiration. I know everyone is different, but I experienced attraction to the same sex when I was very young (6ish.) I suppressed my feelings for many years, but they never changed. I think your sexual attraction for women could change over time, especially if you find someone you really like. Like, Lapras said, you very well be demisexual; although, I will admit that these new terms confuse me, they are helpful in understanding who you are. I've started to question the possibility of being demisexual as it would make a lot of sense. I think you should just take your time, get to know a few girls and keep an open mind. If you discover that you're not all that into women then that's okay. You may discover that you are really straight and just admire women, which isn't unusual for heterosexual women. There are a ton of straight women who have been with women, but label themselves as straight. Some of them may chose to do so for various reasons, but whatever you do, be true to yourself
I think you have a very good understanding of your own sexuality and labelling yourself as 'questioning' (as you have done) makes total sense for now. I read recently that some believe that sexuality is particular to the individual, so maybe we don't even need to lump ourselves into specific categories like 'bi' or 'gay' or 'straight'. Contradicting this (as you can make your own mind up), have you heard of the Kinsey Scale? Google it if not. It categorises sexuality with about 7 labels instead of 3, so maybe you fall under 'mostly heterosexual but incidentally homosexual', ie. you're mostly straight, but occasionally you do have feelings for women. I say stay open-minded for now and see how you feel as time progresses - you're far more self-aware than I was at seventeen so you're on the right track
