1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Really Annoyed & Confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Geek, Oct 27, 2013.

  1. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Alright so i'm not sure if i'm gay, confused, or bi. I don't think i'm straight but not sure i'f i'm gay or bi or what the deal is.

    Gay

    • I only watch gay porn
    • i've only watched straight porn a few times and wasn't a fan
    • Vaginal Sex sounds nasty
    • breasts don't turn me
    • I've only gone out with one girl and we never kissed
    • I've had gay fantasies of people I know
    • Some guys are cute and good looking
    • I don't find women "hot"
    • I think most models are slutty


    Straight
    • I had a crush on a girl for 4 years
    • Some women are "beautiful"
    • I got sad when I found out a girl I had a crush on was dating someone

    Important To Note
    • I'm always online, only have school for a few hours on Monday, and Wednesday. When I am at school I don't pay attention to anyone really. I just do my work and head to the next class.
    • I don't know If I can see myself in a relationship with a guy (although maybe all gay people say that at first)

    So what am I? Bisexual? Straight and confused? Gay? Bi-romantic Homosexual (If that's the case should I just tell people i'm bi? or do I tell them I'm gay?) or what?
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OK lets break this down a bit.

    Does it matter if you are bi or gay? Is it simply just 'what do I tell other people' or do you want to know for yourself?

    Your 'gay' section is pretty much on the ball. Sounds pretty gay, no?

    Your straight section on the other hand;
    The crush, fair enough, you liked a girl once. You could be bi. Do you like her now? Or any girl now?

    Some women are beautiful. hell yes we are. ESPECIALLY ME! You don't have to be attracted to a person to understand their appeal!

    You got sad. Well of course you did you had a crush on them! But as I said, do you have a crush on them now?

    Can't see yourself in a relationship with a guy is an interesting one. You say you've had fantasies about people you know. Now from my personal experience I've found that even though I might have had a sexual thought about someone I know, I don't have the 'relationship' thoughts about them. I have found this tends to be because sexual thoughts just come up whenever I'm feeling a bit...y'know...where as the relationship thoughts come up when I'm lonely or bored and are more intense. I never think of my friends because I don't WANT to be in a relationship with them. I don't want to have sex with them either but I don't have a lot of control over my sexy thoughts!

    Have you ever imagined just a guy with no recognizable face? Doing the relationship things, lying in bed, going on dates, being hugged from behind while you wash your face, that sort of thing? It might help you understand a bit.
     
  3. Saturn7

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2013
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In orbit
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Hey there.

    I think EllieOtaku is bang on the money, but I'd like to point out some things, from the perspective of a straight guy just to further show you how labels don't matter. Ahem:

    Same here. Straight porn is a turn off.

    The appreciation of physical beauty is good. The fact is, both have massive potential for beauty. I've stared at a guy before just because he's unbelievably good looking. The same thing can happen with girls with a very attractive woman. I really think beauty is too good to not appreciate - regardless of orientation :slight_smile:

    Models, actresses, celebrities...grim. I'd not touch them with a 10' barge pole.
    How am I supposed to lust after someone who I don't know? Never understood it.

    The more you know. :slight_smile:

    Anyway, just sharing information. Just to reiterate, I think EllieOtaku-chan's advice is really good. Relax, be yourself. If you want a label - use your own name. That's the only label you need.
     
  4. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Mainly I want to know my label for me. I want to know who I am. I feel like answer about my label is obvious to I explain it to but but me. The girl I had a crush on is a different girl then the one I had a crush on for four years. I'm over her. She friendzoned me and said she likes me like a brother. This was in may. I already had gay thoughts before her but as of lately is when the gay thoughts have started to occur. The girl I have a crush on now is the one that I think has a boyfriend. Never really think about dating to be honest. It's almost like I'm a-romantic in the sense I don't think about the romance of dating someone. I think I fall in love with someone's personality, smile, straights, and compatibility more than romance. Ugh I don't know anymore. So no I don't think about my future wife or husband and children. I live in the moment and don't like to think about my future. Any help?
     
  5. Lipstick Leuger

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2013
    Messages:
    1,113
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Michigan
    Well, IDK if this helps, but Bisexuality is considered gay, also. So, no matter what, you are gay. To what degree, you are questioning, but that will actually come in time. It's a journey and you have to take your time to figure it out. Sorry, but that is the way it is. For now, just date who you want and the rest will figure itself out.
     
  6. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    In what world is gay and bi the same thing?
     
  7. biggayguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2013
    Messages:
    2,082
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    My parents don't make a distinction. I came out as bi' to them. They kept saying "are you sure you're gay?" You would be surprised how many people don't see a difference. As it turns out I am gay but that came later.
     
  8. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Like being gay is just... idk... I don't have a problem with gay people at all and i'm all for rights for ALL but the idea of me being gay never crossed my mind. Now what?
     
  9. theskyiseverywhere

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2013
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Maybe you are gay but you are also romantically attracted to girls.
     
  10. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    so bi-romantic homosexual? So i'm "bi" then or what?
     
  11. rascalboy4u

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Geek. Sounds like you are primarily gay with some mild heterosexual feelings. But your sexual orientation is for guys. Do you feel okay with this? Maybe you have some stereotypes about what a gay guy is like..... Personality, mannerisms and that sort of thing. But gay guys are just as diverse as straight guys. So first, you are you. You are the person that you are, the person that everyone has always known you to be. Your sexual attractions are just a part of who you are. Are you okay with liking guys?
     
  12. undefined

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2013
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
  13. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I mean i've only had crushes on girls never guys. Then again they've all been good friends of mine and all my friends are mainly girls. I've never really had sexual thoughts about girls though.

    I mean obviously i'd rather be 100% straight but that's like asking a women in the middle east if she'd rather be a man. Like i said earlier I don't ever think about my future that often or my romance side of things. I mean if that's who I am that's who I am. :icon_sad:

    Well I mean i get that all gay guys don't meet the stereotypes. It's just :***: annoying that society makes it seem we're a bunch of twinks with pierced ears, that love music, fashion, baking, and call people dirty sluts all day. Basically sassy gay friend is what they expect every gay person to be like.

    [YOUTUBE]lwnFE_NpMsE[/YOUTUBE]

    Honestly those kind of guys can be who they want to be but please don't attach the way you act to your sexuality. i don't wanna be in the same category as those few. (I guess i'm "homophobic" (I hate that word btw) in that category).

    So my label is gay then right? :icon_sad::bang::confused::eek::help::icon_redf
     
    #13 Geek, Oct 27, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2013
  14. rascalboy4u

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think maybe your definition of "crush" may be a little different if you have never had sexual thoughts about girls. Sexual orientation is who you are sexually attracted to and that appears to be guys. It may not be what you would prefer, because of social stigma, which is fading rapidly, but it is so cool! And you're 17? I hope that you can be at peace with everything in life and enjoy the magic of your youth!
     
  15. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    so then I'm gay?
     
  16. rascalboy4u

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arizona
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It appears so, yes. Your only sexual attractions are for guys. Did you sort of know that already, in the back of your mind....if you think about it?
     
  17. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I mean isn't being gay more than just sexually attracted to guys. If i'm attracted to females but not sexually wouldn't that make me bi?
     
  18. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    Gay can have a lot of meanings but it usually implies that you don't desire anything with the opposite sex. When you tell people you are gay, you are basically sending out the message the opposite sex has no chance with you at all and you date and have sexual relationships with the same sex. At it's most basic, fundamental core, sexual orientation is who you are physically and sexually attracted to. If you don't get aroused by the sexual thoughts of the opposite sex or being intimate with them, you are not str8 or even bi. Remember that straight guys may lack romantic feelings towards girls but they are definitely attracted to them sexually. They may even prefer being around other guys 98% of the time, bordering a "bromance," but other guys don't attract them physically or sexually. You might enjoy the bonds with females or like them in an emotional way, but that's not what your sexual orientation is all about. I know people on here may disagree with me on that, but to suggest you are bi is doing yourself a huge disservice and will prevent you from fully accepting your sexuality.
     
  19. Geek

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    All but family
    :frowning2: Now what?