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Never been in a relationship but still ..i'm totally CONFUSED

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jez125, Oct 27, 2013.

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  1. Jez125

    Jez125
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    Like i said.. i've never been in a relationship and i'm 18!! I fell for a few guys ... but never told them!! And i said no to all the guys who asked me out!! At 14 i fell madly in love with a girl and for once really WANTED to be with someone but she was older than me and already had her gf!! After that i'vhad one or two flirts with girls but nothing serious cause i've never even kissed one! I find guys very attractive to a certain extent and i'm completely attracted to girls as well! What i don't understan is that at times i'm not much into guys but the girls i fall for are sometimes masculine and look like MEN!! :bang: and i wonder to myself .. WTF !!! i guess i have to wait to be in a relationship to find out who i am really but in the mean time my attraction for guys and girls is killing me because i don't know if i really want to find out who i am because it will imply a lot of things that i'll have to go through..specially because my parents are homophobics! Somedays i convince myself that i am straight just to feel good when.i look at myself in the mirror!! what am i supposed to do?! Can someone help me out please because i :am desperate right now!:tears:
     
    #1 Jez125, Oct 27, 2013
  2. UIOP

    UIOP
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    Hey Jez, I'm really sorry to hear you feel like this. Your post reminds me so much of when I was questioning my sexuality for the first time. I don't know how helpful I can be but I just want to tell you a few things.

    First, having no relationship experience or never kissing anybody doesn't stop you knowing who you are. I personally have never kissed anyone either (I'm 18 too) but I still have a fairly good idea what my sexuality is... even though it took me a while to figure that out.

    I know that it's so confusing and questioning who you are is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. But whatever label fits you best, just remember that that is all it is - a label. It doesn't change who you are and you are still the same lovely and amazing person you've always been, whatever sexuality you have.

    I know it's hard but eventually, it will get better. With time, things will become clearer in your head as you explore what you are and are not attracted to. You don't necessarily have to have a relationship to explore who you are though. Just be yourself and whatever comes naturally is meant to be.

    'Somedays i convince myself that i am straight just to feel good when.i look at myself in the mirror!!' My heart is breaking for you right now. I know exactly what you mean. But please don't feel bad about who you are. You are amazing, unique and you are worth more than anything money can buy. Even when you are feeling low, remember that. I'm not just saying it either, I can tell by the way you're writing that you are a nice person.

    Sorry for rambling (I'll stop soon!) but I really want to assure you that whoever you are is absolutely fine. Whatever sexuality you have, that's fine. You said your parents are homophobics - I'm sorry to hear that. But whatever anyone ever says to you, there's nothing wrong with you and it's just as 'normal' to be straight, lesbian, bisexual, bi-curious, whatever...

    Just keep on going and it will get better. I promise (*hug*)
     
    #2 UIOP, Oct 27, 2013
  3. Jez125

    Jez125
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    My god!! I have no idea who you might possibly be... but from the bottom of my heart ..Thank you!! Thank you so much!! Its exactly what i needed to hear ..well (read :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) right now!! :$
    I don't know if i can say that..but knowing that there is someone who felt quite the same way as i do..makes me feel less 'abnormal' !! :frowning2:!! Uhmmm.. i'll try my very best to keep what you said in mind and hope that everything is, eventually going to be alright!! :$!! xoxo
     
    #3 Jez125, Oct 28, 2013
  4. hitgirl

    hitgirl
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    You're totally normal, there's nothing wrong with the way you feel and admitting how you feel is the first step towards accepting yourself. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #4 hitgirl, Oct 28, 2013
  5. Jez125

    Jez125
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    true! :$ thanks hitgirl :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Jez125, Oct 28, 2013
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