I have completely fallen for a guy I am friends with. I'm usually terrible at this sort of thing because I have zero sense of 'gaydar' or anything like that (if that even exists). Anyway, he's been saying stuff to me that's got me questioning if he might be gay or bi. On the first day I met this guy, he said to me 'I don't know. You could be a girl...' and he just looked at me silently with a small smile on his face. He didn't know then that I was about to transition and I've only starting wearing androgynous clothes so had no reason to suspect that I consider myself trans*. I brushed that off as coincidence. Another friend asked him 'what kinds of girls' he is attracted to. He replied 'I like all people. I am into all people'. I talked to him about this and he said something like 'yeah, I'm quite open about that'. Pretty ambiguous answer. One time, I was eating dinner with him and a friend. I said 'maybe, baby' to test his reaction and this friend added 'what he really means is... maybe, let's have babies'. To this, the guy I have a crush on said 'oh, man! I would never have babies. Gross!'. Not 'oh, man! I'm not gay. Gross!' That first got me thinking. On many occasions now, he's jokingly said 'ha ha, maybe I'm gay' and he's also said to me 'I don't know. You could be gay for all I know'. Even today, he looked at me seriously and asked me 'are you gay?'. That caught me totally off guard because I had just awkwardly misphrased something about 'everything being so long tonight' (time-wise, not in a dirty way) and we had both just laughed it off. So I hesitated and said 'saying that doesn't necessarily mean I'm gay'. I couldn't say no but I didn't want to tell him there and then either so yeah. He's also done some pretty provocative stuff too. A couple of weeks ago, I was in his room with him and he wanted to change his clothes. He told us to leave the room but he was already whipped off his shirt, shoes and belt before I could leave. A couple of nights ago, I was watching a film with him and some friends in his room. I was sat next to him on his bed and he put his hand gently next to me, touching my leg and he leaned onto me and looked up at me; I turned to look at him and then he quickly pulled away. Sorry for the long post! I always do this - I just don't want to miss anything out! What do you think about this guy? I could just be imagining things but, when he says these things, he doesn't look awkward or strange at all... he looks perfectly comfortable with different LGBT views. I'm soooo confused right now! What should I be thinking or doing to figure this out? :help:
Hey there. I'm someone who's quick to point out that one shouldn't read into something because one wishes it. There have been too many times in my life where I've really liked a girl, and every little thing she does has some significant meaning. However, in your case, I do think he's acting a bit suspect. It's an odd situation, because as far as I can tell neither of you have come out to your peers, and if he is truly gay or bi, then there's a chance that he's as apprehensive as you are. On the other hand, there's a chance that he's just messing with you. It's sad and sick, but I remember this happening at school. Two bastards purposely flirted/baited a guy 'just to see'. It's sick and wrong, but it's been known to happen. How much do you trust this friend? You need to ask yourself that question and be 100% honest with yourself. Not 'how much do you want to trust this friend?' but, how much do you actually trust him? If he's a genuine friend, then I believe that you can have a civil conversation with him and clear the air. If you don't think he is, then you need to be very careful. Please take care of yourself and protect your own feelings and heart. We live in a world where people can be very cruel, and the expression 'children are cruel' extends well into adulthood. Try not to let yourself get hurt, OK? That's all I can offer, sadly. Hopefully someone else can chime in with more advise or an alternative point of view.
Yeah, I hope he's not trying to play with my head but I guess I don't really know if I can trust this guy or not. I'm not sure how to tell if I can or I can't :icon_sad: He's definitely acting weird. He paid me a compliment today about how my voice (which is naturally very deep, or so I thought) sounded 'small and high-pitched... in a nice way'. That was completely out of the blue and that totally confused me. I guess he could be messing with me... arrrgh! How do I tell if he is? So confusing!
Similar thoughts as Saturn, often we can misinterpret these things as real indications of atraction when they're actually nothing at all (normally as a result of being closeted so being unable to have a relationship with anyone ). But this guy really does seem to be a little bit too interested if you ask me. The near-constant conversation about "gayness" is a massive give-away. I know that I've done it on a number of occasions when I'm trying to drop hints. As for whether he's baiting you or not, I'd suggest having a look at what he's like as a person, is he normally manipulative? What are his other friends like? In my personal opinion you'd either have to be either a real manipulative witch or a real jack-the-lad ballsy guy with something to prove, to be willing to put your "reputation" on the line (afterall there would be a risk of it all blowing up in your face) in baiting someone like that. Maybe just play the waiting game for a while if he carries on being interested for a while longer you never know you might be on to a winner *wink*
