I don't know who i like anymore. i'm so confused at the moment. Maybe it's because i'm too close to the situation, i don't know. But i keep going through this kind of destructive cycle in my head 1. I'll be fine, not worrying about it at all 2. The wall will hit me and i'll be going, my god, what am i even? 3. I'll spend several minutes to several hours going through my mind, rethinking the same evidence to find something distinquishable as gay or bi, because i know i am not straight completely. 4. I'll decide. I usually have a moment of clarity where i say i am maybe a kinsey 4 and, even on some occasions, gay 5. I will decide i'm being a stupid, ridiculous little child who should stop pondering things she knows nothing about. And i decide to focus on something else. Usually i find myself doing schoolwork with noise in the background, to stop myself from thinking and, i guess, really dealing with it. I'm trying to gain the courage to really sort this out, which is why i've made another thread, and why i joined this website in the first place. I appologise if i annoy some of you because of this but i really just want to get through this, honestly. Sometimes i feel like i'm being a stupid girl for questioning it, and insulting to the people who really struggle. But, i guess, i'm now one of those people. I just need some help trying to figure it all out really what i am, i guess. I keep going to my profile to change it from questioning to something else, but my mind just goes back in it's cycle that i never seem to be able to break out of. Its not that i don't have a good environment with understanding people, it's me that's the problem here. Any help you can give would be extremely helpful. i've been doing online quizzes, talking to friends who are gay and even called a helpline to see if they could say something that would really tell me what i am, really help me out. But now i just feel even more lost. I'm thinking of deleting this, but, if you're reading this, that means i didn't, which for me is a big thing. Because i don't want to think of myself as a stupid little girl anymore. I need clarity
Don't worry, it's completely normal to not be sure. It took me a few years to finally figure out what sexuality I was. No one else can really tell you what you are, only you are able to truly know that. Take all the time you need to figure it out. And there are people who don't identify with any labels and this is completely fine. I know it's confusing but it wont be forever, hang in there. <3 xx
