Okay thank you google for this wonderful site where i may find an awnser for where i stand so me and this guy; i am gay, he is straight. have been friends for four years, and usually every once in a blue moon ill flirt with him and knows ive liked him. So after i grew some balls to dig behind his shield of his personal life, now were at the point we have considered dating after a few spins of talking about it, he actually told me exact details as to his fear of being rejected by a guy, sick of girls, his liking to me. So of coarse i lied to make him feel better by agreeing i understood his struggle and being a supportive friend of getting over it, and not to mention went as far as cuddling and kissing... So today he tells me the feeling is far more than mutual, but also too intimate for his speed, hes very frightful from past experiment with the last and first guy he liked travis, he loves my company and hes in school to be a automotive repairs and a band so i do give space to do his thing while ill do mine, he actually told me what he likes and dislikes of my Personilty so i see crystial clear he cares quite abit. so kicking myself in the ass because i lost/never understood of being straight who wants to experiment and date a guy, that whole openess and even greater fear and its pissing me off and hurting me because i dont get it even tho he explains clearly on how he feels and am not entirely sure how to be patient let alone help him get over his big fear, i know the rational thing to do is let time work its magic but what i am asking a better understanding of his fear.
I think you should put this in the "Sexual and Romantic Orientation" section instead of this one. This section is for stuff such as people who are wondering about gender and how to find transgender resources. And, uh, could you use spell check? My eyes hurt, man.
Well you're gay, imagine if you totally fell for a girl you were friends with. It's unfamiliar and it's scary. Now even YOU are still saying this guy is 'straight' so he clearly thinks he is, and yet he is sitting here crushing on you. Just do what you are already doing. Make him feel comfortable around you, give him chance to explain his feelings. HOWEVER. The most important thing is that if he decides it's not going to happen you accept that and move on.
Yay, something I have experience with, lol But seriously, Elia is right. The best thing you can do is make him comfortable around you and let him go at his own pace, right now he's probably trying to figure out what these emotions he has for you means, what effect they have. etc, and having someone being pushy about it or someone uncomfortable to be around really doesn't help. So just be there for him, let him be comfortable around you and go at his own pace. If he feels it's going too fast, that's okay, just slow down to his speed. dealing with emotions isn't something you can rush Hope I helped ^.^
Maybe also guys sex could be a huge factor, we never talked about it. Because if you saw the fear of relationship talk on his face, you can tell something deep or broken has happen
"you can tell something deep or broken has happen" No you can't, you can assume, but you can't tell. You may be right, but don't go into it assuming there is something big he's hiding from you. If there is, there is a reason for it and having you dig around trying to figure out what it is will not be appreciated. As for sex being a factor, now obviously I don't know this guy like you do, but I'm guessing if you did some hugging and kissing and now he's freaking a bit, trying to talk about sex isn't going to help any...
Well we had a fight last night, but an even better closure and understanding to where we can both be in contact with eachother without so much confusion, one thing about me is i have no fliter, i can't hide how i feel worth a damn and i just let all my flaws out. I figured if he cant appect me for my flaws and the bad of me then why love me for the good.? Not to sound like a nutcase or the type to purposely push him away i just didnt play any games, just like i thought out my words with this post is what i extactly need to do with him for the health of our(or any for that matter) relationship. I do thank you guys for your kind words they really did help me figure the correct way to process the viewing of my situation. Were stronger just because and i couldnt be happier ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2013 at 09:02 AM ---------- True i do over assume, its a flaw of mine and it gets me into hot water and i do need to relax alittle bit more, hes not my past so i shouldnt carry so much baggage while he has his own. Too much unneeded drama and clashes(*hug*)
