Im sorry this is gonna be long.I dont even know where to start. Im a girl and I started liking girls 4 years ago but for some reason it never seemed weird to me until now. I always thought it was normal to not like guys in that way and i always thought i would grow out of it. I thought maybe i was just a prude or too immature to like guys in a sexual way, but that didnt stop me from thinkin about girls that way. Ive had crushes on guys but never wanted to do anything further than kissing. I can only imagine being with a girl that way. All of a sudden it hit me that im probably gay but i dont want to be. People think im weird enough as it is. Im going crazy because its all i can think about and at first i felt happy amd it made sense but now im just scared of what my friends and family would think.Im constantly going back and forth between telling someone and never telling anyone and all its doing is making me upset. im doubting myself because what if its just a phase even though its been going on for a long time. i dont know what to do.
Slow down and take a deep breath! First of all, congratulations on being gay! I am also gay and it is a wonderful, if tiring (to put it lightly), condition to be in! Now, from your scant info I am supposing you to be young. So, my advice: give yourself a little alone time, evaluate your situation and the mindsets of those around you, and either act or come back here to ask for advice. Give us some more details and I am sure our advice-fanatics would love to envelop you in comfort! Any specific questions? And as always, good luck!
Thank you for being so nice. I jut dont know how to go about it. I tried telling my friend but i was being awkward and he said i was weird and that got me discouraged. I know he was just kidding but it made me scared to tell him. I just feel really alone and I want to tell someone just to get rid of the feeling.
So I suppose you can trust this friend? If so, then by all means give all your efforts and overcome that backwards voice within you and come out to him. Or if not, then find someone you can trust. Trust me, I know the dark loneliness of the closet, being in it up until a few weeks ago, and I now also know the comfort of support and what peace that can give a person. Still, don't feel too shy to state any specific problems! ^.^
It is possible that you feel one way romantically and another sexually. It sounds like you would classify yourself as hetero/bi-romantic, homosexual. Basically, you like to have romantic relationships with guys, but feel better about sex with other girls, something that even I've seen on EC given my short time here. I would agree with waiting until you can better define how you feel, but I still offer my advice for now.
First thing you gotta know it that there's nothing wrong with being gay. And the second is that everything gets better. I know you think coming out isn't an option and you feel alone and like a freak. But slowly and gradually things get easier. You just gotta know the right people to talk to.
That is true somewhat but how could i have a relationship with a guy if i never wanted to do anything beyond like holding hands? it just wouldnt work and i feel romantic towards girls more and see myself more with girls
It sounds like you're fairly certain of your orientation, so perhaps you just want to have a deeper friendship with males. Nothing beyond platonic, but someone you can rely like a brother.
that sounds really good actually just having a relationship with a guy like my brother thats basically how i feel.i dont know why i feel so much better with that. at this point i just want to stop thinking about it and give my mind a break but i honestly cant. its all i can think about and i cant concentrate on anything else btw sorry if im annoying with all the questions i feel like i am haha
Glad to hear that you're finding a little bit more clarity Yeah, sometimes you just wanna focus, but other thoughts can just be too distracting. Look no further than my signature :lol:
Sorry for the late response. Just wanted to tell you, in the advice of coming out, I had originally intended to come out to my friends over a lunch or the like. Then I was like, "Okay, I'll just bring it up at school and tell them one at a time." Then, over break, I decided to quit putting it off and making everything so convoluted and I texted my friends, individually, things along the lines of, "I'm gay." Hope that gives you some direction. Comfort-wise, if you don't feel ready to come out to your "real life" friends and family, you could do what I did and lurk around the LGBT parts of the internet (like right on this site), read gay books, watch gay movies... maybe even start a journal to get that suppressed emotion out (although my journal is what outed me to my homophobic stepmom, so make sure you have a good hiding place! ^_^)
also every girl. ive liked has been straight. so i feel like im gonna be alone for ever or at least until the end of high school
Just give it time; it can take a long time to find the person who you find special, especially when you're not part of the social norm. If you just keep your chin up, there's bound to be someone you want (and is lesbian).
I have pretty bad ocd and i cannot stop thinking about it and coming up for reasons why i would feel this way and excuses and maybe im not really gay maybe i talked myself into it or maybe im too young to know and i wish my friends knew or im never telling any of my friends because its embaressing. i cant stop thinking
I am in the same situation. I keep going back and forth about telling people and I am ALWAYS thinkinh about it.
Im really glad theres someone who knows how i feel. I mean, I know its not a good way to feel and i wish neither of us had to feel this way, but Im glad im not alone.
im just saying, if you decide to let everyone know your a lesbian, you will attract lesbians you dont know about most likely.. because trust me, they are in your grade. you probably just dont know of them, some also keep it under-wraps, maybe you'll encourage others ... ---------- Post added 4th Nov 2013 at 09:17 PM ---------- look here OP its really the level of conditioning, atleast for me, probably for you OP, when you accept it, its like an actual process, gradually becoming more comfortable to the idea, seeing potential, becoming familiar with the other side always accepting and having it slowly increase its presence (set of feelings) me though, im usually always thinking of girls which i im trying to cut out but its hard because woman are too fucking beautiful and its such a burden, im thinking if my mood keeps elevating about it like it has been and its not such a burden anymore, then i might be able to see the emotional side of men, but i really only see it with woman, feelings, honestly tho, im still goingto fuck woman and men regardless.
