Do sexual fetishes determine your sexual orientation? Am I really gay?

Warning: A LONG POST

Lemme start off by telling you guys that I've had a sexual fetish called macrophilia (wiki it) ever since I was very little. I get aroused when looking at pictures or movies involving giants, or giants stomping on little people. I guess I like feeling powerful. I don't know what's more arousing though, being the giant stomping the people or getting stomped by the giant. However, the giants that have aroused me have always been males and not females. I hate giantesses to be honest. That was the first time that I thought that I could be gay. I don't really know if I am actually aroused by the male person stomping on the little people or actually aroused by the power and control that you have over the entire city by being the giant. For crying out loud I've gotten aroused by watching giant monster movies like Godzilla, and there is no way I would be sexually attracted to Godzilla, so I might maybe just be aroused by the power aspect of being a giant. I don't know though. However, I like watching NBA basketball players coz they're huge and they tower over everyone and I've gotten an erection once before when I was standing behind a 7 foot tall guy when I was 14, he was muscular and handsome, but I wasn't sure whether I got it because I was attracted to him, or to his height. Does this make me gay, I don't think so, but I'll leave you guys to find it out for me, if you want to of course.

OK, sexual fetish aside, I still have a feeling that I might be gay. Whenever I look at a good looking guy on the bus or train, the urge to stare at him is just uncontrollable, to see if he would stare at me back, and when he does stare at me back, I quickly look away. I then get a mini heart attack when at some point we make eye contact for a split second, and then I get sad and depressed when he has to get off. I've watched gay themed movies before and I sometimes get aroused when I see two men having sex, spooning, cuddling, kissing or holding hands, but at some other times I don't. I've also read M/F and M/M erotica before and that has aroused me at times as well. I rarely watch porn though, I think it's too graphic and I'm afraid of getting addicted. In tenth grade, one of my friends was pretending to be homosexual and he was rubbing his smooth fingers very gently on my palm for fun and I got aroused by that as well. I would like to have sex with a guy, but only if I have a deep emotional relationship with him. Having meaningless sex with a random bimbo on a one night fling just doesn't do it for me, even though if he's hot. I've never had a full blown crush on a girl before. Whenever I would look at a girl, I would go as far as admiring her beauty, I don't picture myself having sex with a girl because it means that I have to touch her boobs O_O I've had small crushes on guys in 6th and 8th grade before, and I've had an ongoing crush on the same guy for 2 years in high school, even though he had a girlfriend, I wanted me to be the only guy he would hang out with.


SORRY for the extremely long post, I would reply ASAP but I'm living on the other side of the world and I'm off to bed. However, judging by all that I've posted, is it safe to say that I'm gay? I'm honestly embarrassed about the sexual fetish part though.

 

Hehe I'm not actually FROM Beijing. My parents are Chinese Canadian, I was originally born Hong Kong but my family moved back to Canada when I was 4 and stayed there until I was 12. Then my parents got job offers here so here I am You been here before?