1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

so confused, so very confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Lu9us24, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. Lu9us24

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Durham
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello
    as by the title I am rather confused. I am just starting university and far from home and recent events have tripped an analytical and anxiety causing switch in my mind. since a fairly young age (primary school) I have developed crushes on my same gender friends as well as (no where near as often) my opposite gender friends.

    as I grew up I slowly lost my interest in the opposite gender and have become increasingly attracted to guys, however I still seem to fantasize about girls.

    the biggest kicker in all this is that I have never felt that sex is particularly appealing with either gender and have never felt any sort of sex drive ever any fantasies are usually romantic or affection based.

    anyway this mess has been going round my head for a while and is kinda driving me nuts specially in an environment such as university

    thanks for any help in advance
     
  2. Minnie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    228
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland, UK
    I know what you mean with university... there seems to be so much pressure to have sex and it doesn't help when there are bloody condoms everywhere!
    So you say you've only romantic attractions, and it's mostly to the same gender. Have you considered yourself to be an asexual homoromantic/biromantic leaning towards guys?
    The stress of uni life and your personal issues could be causing you low libido, perhaps - but honestly, don't pressure yourself to do anything you don't want to. Maybe try counselling through your uni - they're non-judgemental and hear stuff relating to sexuality etc from students all the time, so they could offer very good advice and it's good having someone to talk to if you're not sure if your friends etc would understand.
    First things first: try and be comfortable. It must be quite hard being away from home and in a new environment like uni, especially when you're young. I started when I was 17 and it seems to have taken its toll on me - I'm 18 now and taking a
    year out for personal reasons, one of which is confusion and anxiety concerning my sexuality, so you're not alone!
    Ir might be worth your while joining any LGBTQ societies for advice and moral support, too.
    All the best :slight_smile:
     
  3. Lu9us24

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Durham
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Some people
    hey
    thanks for the info its kinda weird getting it from someone a few years younger than me (I am 20) . We have an LGBT society here, however I am slightly scared about joining it as I am very shy and would probably end up just sitting in a corner by my lonesome.

    the pressure to have sex in uni is definitely starting to grind especially in my all male flat, it has gotten to the point that I feel almost disconnected from some of my peers due to the absence of my libido to that extent it can get quite lonely here :/


    as for counseling I am going to see student services tomorrow its all good there :slight_smile:

    again thanks for the advice and I hope you find a solution to your own problems :slight_smile: