what is fluid sexuality to you?

I think fluidity is a separate orientation too. When I was young I loved boys, and when I got to my teen years I started having romantic feelings for female friends and started finding women really attractive. Now I feel almost straight again. I hate thinking of my past feelings for females as raging hormones or bicuriosity, it was way more than "I wonder what it would be like...". I never thought I'd be attracted to men again, but I am. Maybe someday I'll start wanting a girlfriend again, or maybe I have the potential to fall in love with women and I just don't know it yet. Maybe it's a psychological thing.
A lot of people think that you can't "start" liking a gender, but rather "realize" you like it, but I think it's possible. When I liked boys in my childhood I don't remember ever liking girls, and when I liked girls in my adolescence I didn't like guys even though I tried to. You always hear about married women leaving their husbands for other women, maybe those women weren't gay all along, maybe they did love their husbands once.
Fluidity could be considered as bisexuality or pansexuality, but those labels are very limiting. You could be fluid and only want to be with one gender at a certain moment, you could call that bisexual but fluid describes it a little better.
For some reason some people are under the impression fluid means you can choose, but just because it changes doesn't mean its a choice.
I don't think everyones sexuality changes over time, but it certainly does happen for some people.

 

I consider myself sexually fluid as well, although at certain times leaning to one gender. As a child I also liked boys but as I got older I got curious about girls. I've been with both sexes and find my feelings for women a little bit more sustainable. But my feelings for men are still there.

I sort of see myself as lesbian by default (I fantasize about being in a close friendship/relationship with a woman) then I'd meet a man and he'll replace the woman in my fantasies. Until I get bored and go back to women. For me it just seems like a back and forth game, which sucks.

 

Yay someone else who's from Ireland! I remember when I thought I was gay, I was pretty sure I was gay and I didn't choose it, but I didn't feel like I was "born that way". It didn't feel genetic or chemically driven, but it was definitely there, it was just love I was feeling, kind of like a sexual preference rather than strict orientation.
Well, I'm not sure if it will continue to transition or not. I find it quite hard to transition sometimes, like I'm always looking back on how I used to be and wishing for it. When I thought I was gay I would have given anything to be straight again, and now I'm straight and I feel like everything I went through was for nothing, and even though it sounds silly, I miss being gay. I'm always going to be looking back, no matter how hard I try to look forward. So because of that I feel like I would like it to change just once more, just so I know my adolescence wasn't a phase, but then again maybe it would be better for my own mental health if I just stayed the way I am. I probably will change again though, I'm not sure if I'm just feeling hormonal or whether I'm slowly gaining attraction for women again. There's a girl at college who I think likes me, and I feel angry at myself because a few years ago all I wanted was a girlfriend, and now I would finally have the chance only I don't like women anymore. I was wondering recently, if she didn't like me maybe I wouldn't be putting pressure on myself and everything would be easier and the answers would just come to me.

 

there should be a sexuality for people who just get sick of the gender entirely an switches, until they get sick of that gender then they switch back..

cause i feel like i have that sometimes

 

I so wish I knew the answers to this too. If I'd been here a year ago I would've listed myself as lesbian. I didn't really understand how anyone could be bisexual, unless they were just a slut or something. The old saying "pick a team." Now that I am one, it's been a little confusing and humbling to see my assumptions challenged.

When I found EC I listed questioning. I recently changed it to bisexual. Next year will I still be bisexual, or straight, or back to strictly lesbian? Although I'm not as sexually experienced as some of my local friends, I' am in my late twenties, and not a kid anymore. At this stage of the game I thought I should know what I want, what my limits are.

Although I currently am in a relationship with a guy, I don't have a general desire for other guys. Even though my guy rocks my world, I do still have sexual desire for women sometimes. What caused me to go from one to the other, and will it change back? Will I lose sexual desire and gradification for him, even though I might still love him emotionally? Is my desire "just a phase" as what my father tried to tell my mother when I came out to them? And what causes this? My environment certainly wasn't causing me to be interested in girls, and my body certainly wasn't telling me to have sexual contact with a guy, at least not before this guy.

Will I develop sexual desires for other guys in the future, now that I've had them my BF? I wouldn't cheat on him, but what if the relationship ends, who would I be attracted to in the future. If my previous partner hadn't passed away two years ago I'd still be with her. Is my current relationship merely psychological, or something else? Are we just comforting ourselves psychologically about our previous relatiionships? And if so, why with him instead of another woman, or why him with me instead of a straight woman?

I'm not the only one confused about this. He and I and my former partner had been platonic friends for years. When I initiated a sexual relationship with him he was a little blindsided. He was okay with it afterwards, but wondered if it was just a one time thing, or something more. At the time I didn't know either. Although I enjoyed it very much, I was confused about why it happened with a guy, particulary with my best guy friend. Since it was unplanned, neither of us thought about birth control, and the next day I vowed never to do something stupid like having sex with a guy again. Birth control was basically "don't do it until your married" in my high school, and isn't an issue anyway when you're strictly a lesbian. No such thing for a lesbian as an unplanned pregnancy, and what to do about it if you have one. I felt embarrased going to my Dr. over this but I had no choice. Thankfully she was totally nonjudgemental, and calmed my fears.

Fortunity I didn't get pregnant, and probably couldn't have anyway, based on my period schedule, but my Doctor wanted me to start on the pill regularly, and use condoms also next time. I told her there wouldn't be a next time, but she convinced me to do this, just in case. There was a next time, and another.

I have a bisexual friend who has admitted to me that she can go from having sex with a woman to a man or back in a heartbeat, if she knows and is comfortable with her partners. She's even had a threesome in a polyamorous relationship. Right now I couldn't even consider such a thing, even if my BF was okay with it, but what about the future? All these things I don't know. If I ever do figure it out and can prove the why of it, I'll probably win the Nobel prize or something. Right now all I can do is go with the flow, and see where it leads me I guess.

 

Wow, that's me too. Even back when I thought I was a lesbian the feelings were more like "romantic friendship" rather than anything else. When I like a girl it isn't Earth shaking and heartbreaking, it's more like "hey I want to talk to you, be close to you, cuddle you and kiss you, also you're beautiful", relaxed and affectionate, but still passionate in a way. I would have had sex with a woman though. When I think about men now I might feel aroused and really want to have sex with one, but it wasn't really like that for women. It wasn't lustful I guess? Until I came to college I felt like I disliked men, it wasn't just that I wasn't attracted to them. I found them intimidating and I found the guys that liked me to be annoying, when I got over the guilt of not liking them back. I way preferred the idea of spending my life with a woman, it made sense to me. I used to love the idea of vagina and breasts but now I'm just neutral towards them. For now my hormones are directing me towards men, but in the end we're all human and there are different types of love.

 

I think it is for some people, but other people are just confused. Especially teens.

I've always been attracted to girls. When I was fourteen I started to feel like I was turned on by everything. That included guys. I don't think I was. I think it was just hormones.

I identified as bisexual for about a year. I was happy with that label because it explained my attraction to girls and my "attraction" to guys. I also got to avoid being a lesbian. I don't identify as bisexual anymore because I don't think I'm actually attracted to guys.

Despite finding a few guys very attractive and being "turned on" by them I don't actually want a relationship with them. I don't even think I want to do physical stuff with them. I have kissed a guy on the lips before and I found it gross. I wanted him to be girl.

Right now I'm not sure if my "attraction" to guys is real or not. Right now I'm identifying as queer/not straight. I often feel tempted to identify as gay/lesbian, but I'm not %100 sure if I'm attracted to guys or not.

 

I feel gender fluid and so often times feel like a different gender on Tuesday as I do on Friday. The same goes with my sexuality, though I just label myself bisexual to make it easier. lol

 

I'm not sure what fluid sexuality means anymore at one time i thought it was people open to 3somes or girls that make out with random chicks at a bar but now I'm not sure

 

I feel the same about the cuddling a girl, and I feel the same about guys. I always feel defensive around them, I find some guys attractive but it would take a lot for me to go far with a guy. If I was still attracted to women I would say I would find it way easier to get physical, but I can't with guys. It's not that there's no sexual attraction, I think I would just feel way too vulnerable and I can't stand feeling that way around men. It's complicated, a short while ago this guy was flirting with me and I thought I liked him, until I saw him again and he flirted with me again, and there was this freakout voice inside my head like "You're a lesbian, stop!". And that was weird because it's been nearly a year since I started thinking I'm straight again. It's so complicated, I feel like my confusion is going to isolate me for the rest of my life

 

As far as I know, fluidity is the idea of someone's sexuality changing throughout life.

 

Thanks Marie didn't know some people's sexuality over time