Lesbian or bi?

Were you brought up in a strict household? Like were your parents seriously religious and did they instill homophobia in you?

Sexuality is a complicated thing. I can tell you that being demisexual, and in male mode I'm totally straight. Meanwhile as a woman I am panromantic, but with a slight preference for women. What you said about sometimes lusting after men and sometimes not reverberated in me, reminding me of the confusion I went through as a teenage not knowing I was a woman and a man.

Are you attracted to a man's face, body, genitals, and clothing or what? If we could narrow that down it would simplify the process of figuring out what you are. At your age you're still sexually exploring yourself. The best way to find out is by experimenting in small doses. But be sure to do it in a way that doesn't hurt others or yourself.

About what you said in regards to liking men, I'm confused since you made it unclear. Do you mean that you want to have sex with men but are attracted to women?

This can be a phase. Phases can last a long time. Again, the best way to verify if you're truly Bisexual or not is to explore your sexuality.

 

I can relate! :icon_bigg

Although I already see myself as a lesbian. I have the same problem as you. I can get turned on by anything. I know there are studies that state that women can be turned on by all sorts of porn. Gay, straight, lesbian. Personally, I've only been into male-on-male porn. I consider straight porn to be... degrading? Lesbian porn is fake. But enough about the porn.

When I was 13/14 I was into yaoi (sparkly, Asian comics about gay relationships). I also watched male-on-male porn. I thought I was straight and attracted to men so I didn't think anything of it. I also watched yuri (same but lesbian relationships). I also didn't think anything of that. I thought it was romantic. I never liked straight romance in any way, but I wasn't aware of that fact back than.

Than I started actually dating a guy. I realized I was very awkward with being in a straight relationship. I did not enjoy being with him. I was confused that I found kissing him disgusting, I didn't want him to hold my hand, to hug me, to sit close to me. I never fantasized about him. Sometimes I thought if things would be better if he was a girl. Everything was a big no. It didn't take long for us to break up.

I started thinking about it very much. I started dating women. Now I've been dating a girl for over a year. Everything about her is attractive to me. Attempting to hold her hand made me so nervous that I just couldn't do it. When I first put my arm around her, I felt like being in a roller coaster. I am hyper aware of even the slightest touch. I think she is very attractive and she's always on my mind. This attraction toward her is not just sexual, but romantic and way more intense.

This made me aware of the fact that there is empty attraction that appears and disappears and makes me miserable, and romantic, amazing attraction that I cannot get enough of.

Have you ever dated a girl you really liked?

 

Wow,that's one of the strangest thing I've ever heard. I mean no offense by that but I haven't heard nothing like it before. I too have my own peculiarities that people may find abhorrent or even lurid, so I don't judge you for having these feelings.

The one thing you should do now is get laid dear. Your sex drive needs you, like a retarded child. You owe it to yourself to have sex unless you want the insane urges to intensify, and the lust will surface more often, so you have to break the shell that encloses these unhealthy urges asap.

You expounded on how attraction and sex differentiates, and I really think you are a lesbian, but since you haven't had sex your sexuality is manifesting itself onto other inappropriate things. By having sex, you'll cleanse those thoughts that have brought you to fantasizing about inappropriate things. I think most people can experience a measure of what you're feeling if they're denied since as even Gandhi had sex with female relatives, and Catholic priests, who get sworn to celibacy have been known abnegate their oath and molest children.

I also think this arose from you attempting to inhibit your sexuality, resulting in it skyrocketing to disproportionate levels, a natural reaction, especially for a teenager.
About the porn...I used to watch lesbian porn, and it never did the trick to me, but I'm a straight male, and my woman half leans towards women too. That you didn't get aroused by it says nothing about your sexuality, just that licentious sex isn't a turn-on.

 

Maybe you are sexually attracted to guys, but romantically and/or sexually attracted to girls? Just a thought to explore.

 

Um, I get turned on my gay porn...and I know I'm a lesbian. I get turned on by porn period tho. Gay, straight, and lesbian porn, but only if lesbian porn is done properly. I'm really...critical of it, maybe because I've actually had sex with a woman and can tell whats fake.

That being said...I can be sitting in a chair and suddenly feel horny. I think that may be what it is. Just go with who you FEEL you can be in a relationship with. I can watch gay porn, but I could never be with a man, and when i tried it felt horribly wrong.

Some of us are jsut more sexual than others.

 

Just thought I'd say that lesbians rock!

 

Funny that you mention OCD since I have traits of it (never got officially diagnosed) The more you explain, and the more I consider, I really think you're not attracted to these things. You're just confounded by the feelings of horniness and projecting it to everything surrounding you, all the while girl-sex is subconsciously swirling through your mind. When you're envisioning yourself turned on by everything, it's your mind craving to get high off Oxycontin. I, as a demisexual experience it too, and I don't care to delve into how I deal with it since most people would find it profligate, but that need to get high off Oxycontin is the most primitive instinct we have, and sometimes it embodies the wackiest things. The thing I fantasize about when I jerk off is intangible, and it would be impossible to have sex with it.

You're a woman. The sexual feelings towards everything stem from your heightened sex drive in combination with how sexually receptive you are when you are sex-starved. There is some evidence suggesting the hypothalamus, the part of the bain that's associated with survival/reproductive behaviors: eating, sex, drinking anti-predation, etc. Your appetite for food is linked to your appetite for sex. I keep drawing anologies between appetite for food and your sex drive, because it's such an apt way to explain how alike they really are.

Thr probity in your writing has been helpful in gauging what your problem is, so thank you for that. The fact that you felt repulsed by kissing your boyfriend is all the proof we need - it's now demonstrable that you're not attracted in the slightest way to animals, children, or men, even if you felt turned-on by watching gay porn. You're sex-starved. A person who's starving and abhors onions will eat them when they're starving to avoid dying. Likening that to your sex drive, you've been desiring sex with men, children, and other things not because you like them, but because your brain and sex are linked to the hypothalamus part of the brain, making it seem like you're attracted to those things but you're not.

Admittedly, the analysis i've offered is incomplete, but knowing the things I do know I think that's responsible for why you're going through this.

 

I don't feel anything when I see gay male porn, and think a lot of straight porn is female degrading. Even the stuff that isn't doesn't turn me on much. Lesbian porn is a mild turn on, only because there's naked females in them, but a lot of the sex seems fake to me too. Up until this year I knew I could never be with a man also, and the few times I've tried it, it felt wrong too. If some fortune teller had told me in January that I'd have a good sexual relationship with a guy I'd have told her she was f------ nuts. I wasn't even trying to find a guy to sleep with. Then when I was with a man and actually liked it, it was a little disturbing.

I wasn't some confused 13 yr old, I was 26, and had dated at least 4 girls up to this year. The last one I was in a monogomous relationship for 7 yrs, and I'd still be with her if I'd had the chance. I should firmly know at this point in my life what I am, and it bothered me a little, particulary since I don't know if this was some biological accident or something and I'd lose sexual desire for him. In fact, this was the main reason for coming to EC. The advice I got was what you said about just going with who you feel you can be in a relationship with, dont worry about labels, and I think that's good advice for people in general who are confused about who they think they are, whether they're 15 or 50.

 

I went through the same thing. I have always been attracted to guys, but I began to notice my attraction to girls too. The best thing you can do for yourself is explore your sexuality. You may be more attracted to women, or maybe you just didnt like the guy you kissed like you thought you did. Just explore a little bit more, before you come to conclusions with anything

 

I don't think you will dear. (end up bisexual) Most people don't. My experience was just my experience, and an unusual one at that. The only point I was trying to make was to go out and experience life, and follow what your heart says is right for you.

I know things would be so much easier with a label when you're confused, having it to tell you what you should be, not having to think for yourself. The problem is, if your unsure, how do you label yourself if your not going out and experiencing life? And if you do know, you don't need a label to tell you what you are. Labels aren't so much for yourself as for other people, who want to prejudge you.

When I was in HS straight meant to most people as normal, lesbian meant man hater, and bi meant a slut who had no internal controls on who she slept with or how often. It's much quicker than actually taking the time to get to know what someone actually feels or likes.

When I was growing up I had a label put on me by my parents and my church, hetrosexual. The problem was, my feelings told me it was the wrong label. Coming out of the closet publically where I lived wasn't an option, until I was out on my own. And that was ten years ago, a lot has changed since then. I don't know anything about your family friends situation as it relates to coming out, so for you it's probably not even an issue.

Some people who have had the feelings I had end up supressing them, and live a lie, all because of a label, and worry about what people will think about them. Then later on when I started having feelings for a guy, I didn't act on them at the time, because I had labeled myself, and that lable told me guys were off limits. Confusing? It was for me too. I deal with the confusion right now by acknowledging to myself that I'm in a wonderful fulfilling relationship with someone I love, and who loves me despite my confusion.

Yes, I still have desires sometimes for females, which is why when I signed up to EC and they ask for a label I put bi, but am I really bi? I don't feel the need to act on those feelings, just like my straight boyfriend doesn't feel the need to act on his when he sees a pretty girl in a bikini. We fulfill each others desires, just like most couples.

Anyway, I'm sorry if what I said bothered you, that certainly wasn't my intent.