Hey forumers, I stumbled across emptyclosets while googling "Im straight but I like a boy". Im a heterosexual, attractive Australian in my early 20's. Ive had many girlfriends in the past 10 years and (although a late bloomer) had a lot of sex with girls. I was recently working overseas when I met an American guy who I was instantly, immensely attracted to. We only spoke once and I was confused about my attraction to him. I returned home and he had added me on Facebook. We got to talking and we were flirting a lot. We found each other extremely attractive and after 2 months of chatting, phone calls, dirty pictures and sexting, I went and spent a month overseas with him. We had frequent sex (I am top) as well as nearly everything else 2 guys can do. My butt is off limits, and the guy Im seeing really just loves my penis and balls. Other than sex we are just like really good mates, we get along perfectly and quite comfortably just act like dudes around each other. When I had to return back to Australia, I presumed we were in a relationship. He led on that we were serious together but he continued to get with other guys. I was absolutely heart broken when I found out. -This is another sign of my strong attraction. I am so in love with him. Im struggling to understand where I am at, or what I am classified as. I have no attraction to men generally. Just to this one guy. I can't jack off to gay porn and I don't look at any other guys sexually. Google really doesn't help the situation for me. The anonymity of online profiles works to a massive detriment with people spewing out that once you've been with a guy, you're definitely gay. Or without answering the posters question, just saying that all gays are going to hell. A large majority of gay's also believe that there is no such thing as bisexuality, that its merely a creation of the closeted straight man. Is anyone else out there straight, but in love with just ONE person of the same sex? Or adversely, is anyone out there gay, but had sex with or been in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex? Looking forward to hearing your responses. Kind Regards-
I am a girl and stuck in the same situation like yours. I am only attracted to the first and the only 1 girl in my life. Can't explain why! Haiz
As I told another person with a similar situation earlier, you don't necessarily have to label yourself, now or ever. If you love this person and have a connection with them, then so be it. So what if this person is male and has a penis and is different than what you've been attracted to in the past? Love doesn't go by what's between the legs. As for him sleeping with other guys still, I would communicate to him that you felt that you guys were committed to each other after you left and that it hurt your feelings. Long distance relationships can be difficult for some people though, especially if they need the intimate contact to validate the relationship. You can't really stop him from sleeping around, but by telling him how you feel and that you are committed to the relationship if he is, it might influence his actions depending on how serious he takes your relationship.
Lance, thank you for your response. I know a girl who lived her entire life heterosexual and is now engaged to a woman. The first woman she ever tried things with. I just think its so different for a guy in the situation though. Theres such a stigma that a guy is definitely gay if he does things with another man. Although I still get off on regular porn. I don't find any appeal in gay porn. I think very much on animal instincts. I have always been a very passionate lover. My experience topping a man was no different. It was both of our first time, I had never been with a man and he had never bottomed. There was some beauty in that we both had no idea what we were doing. But we both went at it like animals. Is there a title, or term for someone who is only attracted to certain people? "Bisexual" seems so vague. I believe I am in love with him, but I draw the line at certain things. My bottom is off limits, I don't swallow. Ive eaten him out but don't get much pleasure from sucking his dick. Whereas he absolutely worships my dick. Its like an art form. As for him being with other guys. He claims the first situation was that his boss drugged him and they woke up together. He has no recollection (or so he says) of the events. The other is his ex from before me, they went out for drinks and one thing led to another. I have told him that I would like us to be exclusive but he explained to me that thats not how gay guys operate. That all gay guys have open relationships and have the right to kiss or sleep with anyone. Especially in our long distance situation. If anyone else told me this story I would tell them to GET OUT as soon as possible. But something is urging me to work through it. Is it lust? Im so confused. I am heading back to the states in 2 weeks to spend christmas and new year with him and meet his family.
I am somewhat concerned about his characterization of gay guys being unable to commit to one person. Further, that story with his boss seems...weird...I think he wants to keep his options open for when you are apart, understandable, but unacceptable if ever you were to be in the same general neighbourhood. If it is lust, I would not say that this is unimportant, as if lust were some trivial matter, it isn't; it is part of your relationship. It is significant that he wants to spend the holidays with you and to meet his parents. This may be important on many levels... Here is the link to Rarareva's epic thread (lots to read!): http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/96608-i-asked-my-roommate-if-hes-gay.html
@greatwhale. Thank you for all of your help. I want to write you back on your profile, but I can't until I have at least 10 posts. Sorry mate
