Help!!! I'm Still scared!

Everyone gets scared sometimes. I know with my very first relationship (I was 13) I was scared even after I came out to my very supportive mom. I can't speak for everyone, but I personally think it's natural. I saw myself growing old with my girlfriend and that scared the shit out of me.

Hope that helps...lots of love! (*hug*)

 

I was so shocked when I read this thread because you have perfectly described how I have been feeling lately. I was going to make a thread about it myself, but I couldn't put it into words. My girlfriend and I have been been for about 6 weeks and well, everything's been going good. However, I am literally freaking out because I am also still afraid. I know that she's more into me than I am into her, but I care about her a lot.

While she and I are together, we are very affectionate towards each other, but whenever I am away from her, I become extremely anxious. I have tried to figure why I am feeling this way and I've concluded that perhaps I am afraid to be vulnerable. It feels like I have this inability to let my guard down and let her in, which prevents me from loving her with all of my heart.

I have discussed things with her and she said that it is something that I need to figure out on my own. The crazy part about it is that, this isn't the first time I have felt this way and it has ruined just about every relationship I've ever had with a woman.

I guess I am harboring a bit of shame about liking women, although it doesn't feel like I am. I am very confused and I don't understand why I am feeling this way. So, believe me, you are not alone. Perhaps, we can figure things out together (*hug*)

 

Not badgering at all! That's why we're here.

If you don't mind me asking, what do think is the wrong thing? Do you mean you are questioning your sexuality or is it just that you're not ready to settle down with this girl? Both are completely normal btw. You're still young and maybe that's all it is. I'm still young too so don't take that the wrong way. I couldn't imagine myself settling down with anyone right now and I'm 25.

 

I do not have an answer for you, but I can tell you that I find myself in a very similar situation. I am nearly positive I am gay, and have been seeing a girl for 5-6 weeks now. We are taking things really slow (which is good for me), and I do like her a lot and really enjoy spending time with her, but I have moments where I almost wonder "what am I doing??" and wonder if I have made all of this up in my head and feel very anxious. I do not know if those are real feelings of questioning or if I am still just struggling a bit to accept myself. Either way, know you are not alone. In fact, I am going out with her again tomorrow night and I feel just as anxious as ever.

 

Yup. We all scared about the thought of settling down with a person of the same sex. I'm female who not young anymore to take risk of being in a relationship with a girl ( she has a boyfriend already). This is the first time I have such feelings for girl so I feel lost and unsafe.
I take quizzes and the results are always straight.
In fact, I have feeling for men most of my lifetime so I think this time is just an exception when I feel lonely and haven't find a suitable man. Maybe This won't happen again.
Gud luck to all of us here!

 

Well, I feel panicked like this sometimes, and I've never even been in any kind of relationship. Maybe it's still some kind of underlying nonacceptance, or some kind of fight-or-flight response to putting yourself under an official label? I could see that. Or maybe you're nervous that it wouldn't work out and this isn't right for you and you don't want to discover that it's wrong for you (that isn't necessarily you, that's what I imagine the root of my response would be in your situation).
I say live and let live. I say it a lot, but I think a lot of the time what helps at least initially is some space, or some I-refuse-to-overthink-and-overstress-this mindset. It's like a yoga mindset (I think; I don't do yoga), if you're the yoga-liking type of person.