1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What to do when your gay but your living your life like a straight person?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Liv, Nov 9, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. Liv

    Liv
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2013
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Ok if im been honest I'm not sure where to start..

    I've been aware for a while now that I'm really into women. The long and that short of it is that I have always had relationships with guys. But going back years ago when i was in school all my friends where really feminine girls. There where occasions when we would experiment to " practice for boys " and i always found that more satisfying than with guys, which i didn't even acknowledge at the time because it wasn't something that was generally accepted at school or at home, so i brushed it off as nothing. As time went by all my friends where boy crazy and would always ask me why i wasn't interested in finding a boyfriend, and i just said i wasn't that bothered about guys and wasn't sure why.

    I ended up dating a guy for a couple of years but i mainly saw him as my best friend (that I'd have sex with) and the longer the relationship lasted the more i released this definitely wasn't what i wanted emotionally but mainly physically. So after ending this relationship 2 years ago i haven't been with another guy. But i haven't been with any women either, mainly for 2 reasons. Firstly even though im 22 i look like a seriously straight 16 year old, and secondly because all my friends are straight bar one women, who is amazing but were just friends and all her lesbians friends and herself aren't my type, I'm not saying i would only fancy lipstick lesbians but im attracted to women because of their femininity.

    When we have gone out to gay bars together people either don't believe I'm interested in women or think were a couple! Now that ive accepted all of this i really want to start enjoying my life. I was thinking about joining some sort of lesbian/bi group, but i almost feel like i wouldn't quite belong since i haven't slept with a women yet ( and not through lack of interest) I know this is quite a chunk of reading, and I'm still not 100% why I'm posting this i guess I'm hoping there's someone out there who is/has gone through something similar, or anyone that has advice, literally any advice would be great

    Thanks for reading
     
    #1 Liv, Nov 9, 2013
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, to put it quite bluntly, stop telling yourself there is a difference.

    You shouldn't let what other people MIGHT say stop you from going to some sort of group. If that's how you identify then you belong there as much as anybody else. You could die a virgin at 100 and still have been a lesbian all your life and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to think through some things.
     
    #2 BookDragon, Nov 9, 2013
  3. Annabella

    Annabella
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I know exactly how you feel because I'm in the same situation. I've had two boyfriends and dated a few boys and I broke up with my most recent boyfriend a while ago because the longer time went on I realised or at least I think I'm a lesbian. I don't want to have sex with boys, I want to have sex with girls.

    My problem is the same as yours though. I'm 22 and look very young and very straight and I don't know where to go from here. I haven't come out to anyone but when I go to gay clubs with my friends the only people who catch my eye are feminine girls who are straight. I like feminine girls, not butch girls, but apparently I look too feminine and too straight to get with a feminine girl. Just like you I want to start enjoying my life but feel quite alone and have no idea what to do in this situation. So I can't give advice but I can tell you that you're definitely not alone!
     
    #3 Annabella, Nov 19, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)