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Need help figuring this out- thought I was gay

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by skyler48, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. skyler48

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    So I'm biologically female who was comfortable saying that I'm only into girls. I have this close friend who wants to date me. On one level I do love this person, I feel like we're meant to be together, the only problem is that he's a guy. I don't know what to do. I basically said yes to dating him. I'm so upset about this I've actually gotten physically sick. I don't even know why he likes me. I'm genderqueer and he knows it, he doesn't care. I think maybe I like him because he accepts me for me, but I'm happiest when I'm with him. I'm just so confused about this. Is it possible for a person who is only interested in girls to fall in live with a guy? Could it be real and last? Please help.
     
  2. Chrissouth53

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    Why not be upfront with him and tell him you're not sure but if he's willing to give you time to see if it works for you, give it a try. If you don't feel the attraction beyond what appears to be a good friendship, tell him so.
     
  3. skyler48

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    He knows everything and said he'd still like to try it.
     
  4. BookDragon

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    OK, so then next question, are you in any sense of the word PHYSICALLY attracted to him, or are you just close emotionally?
     
  5. skyler48

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    Well I think things he does are cute, like the way he laughs and stuff. His smile is adorable and the way he looks at me. But sexually? Kinda. but when I picture my life partner, it's a girl. When I picture getting married, it's with a girl. I don't know what to do.
     
  6. skyler48

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    I've been seriously thinking about things and I think I've come to a realization. I don't feel worthy of his love and affection. I don't know why, but I don't. I feel like there's no way that he could like me. How could anyone like me? I guess I don't understand how he would be attracted to me as a girl because I bind and how could he be attracted to me as a guy because there's no way I begin to pass. In the back of my head I think that he's just like playing games or something. One minute I think ill give it at least a couple weeks, then another minute I want to tell him now that I don't want to. I literally don't know what to do.
     
  7. Kamina

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    I'd say give it a little time, maybe just start by hanging out, like no dinner dates just take it really slow? You are still young and this guy sounds like a cool dude so I doubt he'll pressure you into anything. Plus if it turns out he's just a friend you can bake him rejection cookies!

    My brother dated a girl who he was close friends with and when she went to break up with him she brought him cookies (this girl also happens to be one of my close friends and so the cookies are forever dubbed 'rejection cookies'). They are still great friends. No awkwardness.