Hi everyone. So I recently came out to my family as liking guys, and it felt awesome. I finally felt honest with them for the first time in a long time; secrets aren't exactly the makings of close relationships. I was confused beforehand, sure, and I was still attracted to girls, but I felt like once I came out that attraction would go away. I essentially thought that it was simple nostalgia from past romantic relationships I had had with women. No real surprise, it didn't go away. It's insanely frustrating, because I find myself (at this juncture of my life anyway) more physically attracted to men, but more emotionally attracted to women. Each time I've attempted to get emotionally close to a guy, it just fizzles. It's not for lack of trying on my part, it just isn't there. I've only ever had that "connection" with one girlfriend a couple years ago. Ever since then, man or woman, nothing has really satisfied me physically and emotionally. I'm not incredibly depressed about this, but I would love it if some of you could weigh-in. Thanks for reading!
I'm similar, except not out. It would be fooling yourself to get into a relationship with a girl where you don't get that excited feeling and butterflies when you talk to them, it seems like it just won't last. Separating good friendship from an attraction can be difficult sometimes. t seems like you know what you want but just not found the right person yet
Honestly, as someone who is bi but has a decent number of closeted and openly gay friends who are hooking up with or have hooked up with girls, societal pressure can be a tough thing. While it's completely possible that you are bisexual (and you say you're "somewhere on the spectrum"), it sounds like these feelings may just be residual internalized sentiments about what your emotional connection to each gender should or shouldn't be. If you're newly out, you're already closer than I am on that front—it just takes some time to undo all the stress we put ourselves through trying to feign straightness.
Hi, Avocado! Welcome to EC (!) Nice name by the way--I love avocado Perhaps, you haven't found the right guy? I'm not usually a fan of labels, but you sound like you could be bisexual. My best friend is a bisexual woman and she likes men physically and with women it's both emotionally/sexually. I've been experiencing this issue for some time and that "connection" your looking for is something that I haven't been able to find for a while as well. I've only felt that connection twice so far, but since then I haven't found someone that I can be in a relationship with long term. I mean, I've only been with my girlfriend for 2 months, so we have a lot of room to grow. Also, I think rushing into things, before getting to know someone can have that fizzling affect. And I totally agree with pgame311. Societal pressure can affect your pursuit of happiness and it is very frustrating, so hang in there.
