Anyone experience their sexuality as cyclical? I sometimes feel mine is, and I think it's to do with a cycle of repression and acceptance (of myself). About 70% of what I masturbate to (never easy typing that word) is lesbians, which I often use as an easy go-to. While I do sometimes (ugh, I need a better word) masturbate to men, more often I avoid it, so tension builds. Eventually (maybe a few times a year), I have enough, masturbate to men a few times in a row, and gain some amount of acceptance. Repression generally dulls all my sexuality, so when it lifts I become more attracted to woman as well. After a few days of that, the idiotic part of my mind declares "well, guess I don't have to worry about being gay after all", and the cycle (and tension) starts anew. Mind, this has been going on for a while, and I feel at this point I'm basically stuck with it (regardless what my sexuality will "ultimately" be, if that makes sense, or who I end up with). Thoughts/comments?
As you may have heard porn isnt a good indicator of sexual orientation and it would be a good idea to just give it up and see where your dick gets you, but besides that none can tell you if you re like 70% straight or 65% gay or whatever. Here are some things I d like to point out.. 1) Denial or the straight society or whatever cant make you hard and ejaculate to lesbian porn.. 2) Watching porn and fantasizing is different from having sex. You have to get experience in order to understand yourself. If your future gf gets you off several times a day, you will stop giving much attention to your gay side. If you find yourself thinking of guys and not enjoying yourself, well you will have to dig deeper. Some people have their sexuality written on a stone and others dont. Thats how it is. Be cool, chill out.
Hello fackit. Sorry, didn't mean to come off as very stringent, you don't always realize your tone when typing. Was just trying to describe my experience, see if others can relate (it's always good to know you're not alone in an experience). I was more interested in whether people experience cycles like this, the 70% figure was just a way of describing mine. Attraction to lesbians for me (and I hate my objectification here, so I'm rather sorry if it come off that way) is complicated for me, and is an old attraction, that is only about half porn (and for me, was always strongest without the porn). It's a mix of taboo and... something else, that I can't easily describe. Thanks for the comment, I certainly agree that experience is the final arbitrator here.
I also didnt mean to come off as stringent... I am in a similar position like you. Not exactly but.. my porn use is like 80% lesbian 19% straight and 1% gay, yet here I am worrying about it, that 1%. My attractions are also very complicated and I cant give myself a clear answer as well... and sometimes there just isnt an answer. Sexuality can be ambiguous and fluid...
