I've damaged myself?

It's very normal and I went through the same thing when I was younger. Basically, what you have to tell yourself is that you don't know, and you can't know, until you are older. And tell yourself that looking up pictures or imagining scenarios is going to help you in no way at all, so it's best not to waste your time doing it, it's just going to worry you more and more until you go nuts lol. I think that you are veryyy young to worry about physical or romantic attraction to any gender, and that's why you might not be feeling it much (combined with your incessant worrying).

What really helped me when I was in your situation is that I stopped going on gay websites and forums, because all it was doing for me was remind me of my worries. I also kept busy by enrolling in all sorts of extra-curriculars to have fun and meet people, and basically do kid stuff without worries of who I was attracted to.

Don't focus on this so much right now, you are so incredibly young. Enjoy being a child and don't worry about the rest, it'll all come in due time.

 

I know exactly how you feel, and a lot of us have been there. Your post describes the better part of my last year. You are not too young to worry about this. It's a very important part of who you are. If anything, you should be proud that you're confident enough at such a young age to question it! I wasn't able to admit to myself that I was anything but "not straight as an arrow" until about six months ago. When I told my mother about my thoughts, she informed me that I'm "too young to be thinking about that" and "basically asexual at this point of development." I got on EC, and about a month later, informed her that what she had told me was complete and total bullshit. Are you too young to know for certain? Quite possibly. You probably won't know for certain anytime soon.

Attempting to assign a label to your sexuality is unnecessary, and probably what is causing a big part of your anxiety. Just be honest with yourself. If at some point, you find that you fit the description of some label, feel free to use it. But don't feel like you have to fit into some category. This is only one very small part of who you are, it doesn't define you. Be yourself and try not to worry so much.

Good luck!

 

I agree with both of the above answers, and also have to say that this sounds like me too, when I was in eighth grade. Maybe not to such an extent, but I used to stay up at night playing the "am-i-am-i-not" game with myself, back and forth back and forth. I thought I might be "making" myself like girls because I "wanted" to, and then I thought I was gay, then totally straight, then....cue internal spontaneous combustion. I decided to go with "Not straight" as my self-label right now.
I would have to say--time. I know you can't exactly tell your brain to shut up and expect it to meekly comply, but you have to remind yourself that this is not the point of your life where you *absolutely have to know, now*! You may never have to know. And people do say that sexuality is fluid, and I personally feel like it becomes even more so when you pay such obsessive attention to it.
So I would say, relax, and be young for all the time you've got left, before this stuff actually comes more into play. I think if you can take some time off from overthinking (easier said than done, I know, I really do)--and just try to think along the lines of "whatever I am, I'll find out someday and it's fine, whatever it is," and then come back later, much later if need be, when your head is clearer.
Maybe when you're older, play around a bit, but no rushing. Don't, you know, deny anything, to force yourself to be one way or another. No one (I assume and hope) is standing over you with an axe saying "CHOOSE!"
If there is, it's probably a specter of yourself. So tell that self to lay off and let you be.