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advice needed? turning from gay to bi/str8 in 3 weeks?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by revcr, Nov 15, 2013.

  1. revcr

    Regular Member

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    Hey,
    so I have always considered myself as a gay person with its full consequences - I've watched gay p0rn, been on gay dating sites, read lgbt news, more identified with gay people/places and I couldn't find anything sexually attractive about girls up to now.

    I have been going to a university for a month now and I got reeealy confused. I suddenly started to like and notice girls in a way I never did before - normally when I got into the classroom or been in any place with a lot of people I would pretty much notice only boys and I would think of girls as 'not necessary for anything'. Now I look at them more, think/dream about kissing them just as if they were boys before. I also start to watch female section on sites such as ch4turbate as so on and got interested in female oral sex (never felt the need to know the know-how before). Ok enough. :icon_bigg

    It is so strange I don't know what to think about it. Is it possible to turn from gay to bi in a few weeks?! Is it maybe because I always pretty much isolated myself from straight p0rn (I really didn't find it attractive except for men in it), relationship with woman? I really don't know. There was no changes in my life or any noticable events. I started to be a bit more outgoing, dress a bit better and that is really it.

    Just to note, I live in Eastern Europe, but I never found it a problem to lead my life as a gay person here nor to tell my parents about my sexuality. Up to now, I could only imagine being with a man. Now I feel I can comfortably live with a man or a woman, but it is strange - because it would be easier with a woman, so I start even to be discouraged from gay relationships or p0rn or man whatsoever (I know I shouldn't be thinking about it like this, but it is how my brain is honestly going and it is 100% subconscious).

    I liked myself so far, I don't really want to change from gay to bi or str8, but I feel it is happening. I was easier to say - "I am gay, I want to be man". Now I am afraid to start any kind of relationship, because if I start with a woman I may lose interest in her and the same thing other way round - if I start with a man I may lose insterest or be very distracted by woman. I really would like this whole situation to stabilize and that is to get back to gay orientation.

    And all this within 3-4 weeks? I hate to think what I will feel like in a month.

    What do you think this is? :help:
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Maybe you just joined an incredibly sexy university?

    But more realistically, sexuality is fairly fluid, apparently yours just turned a corner. Maybe it'll change back, maybe not. The point is, does it matter?

    Why stop yourself from starting a relationship just because you might lose interest in them later? SURELY that is a risk you take with anyone regardless of your new found enjoyment of females? Why put yourself through the pain of having to wait-and-see when you can just do what feels natural to you (which at the moment, appears to be girls) and deal with any changes that come later?
     
  3. jargon

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    Three weeks of being attracted to one sex is certainly not evidence that you're straight. I've gone years attracted to only one sex while dating a person of that sex, since I don't really notice other people in general when I'm happy with a relationship. Once the relationship turned, it didn't take me long at all to remember how hot the other sex could be again. Most bi people (in my experience) know very well that sexual orientation is something that you need years of data to define sometimes.

    That being unlikely, it sounds like you could still be bi. If so, I'd like to shatter your impression that you'll "lose interest or be very distracted by woman" and thus be unable to have a stable relationship with a guy ever. If you like blondes, but you also like brunettes, you don't have to constantly change relationships because "you can't be satisfied by only one hair color." That's how sex/gender is for me, and that's how a lot of bisexual people see it too.
     
  4. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    My advice is if you have gay friends, don't tell them. You will probably lose every one of them. The straight friends you are out to may be more supportive of you. This thread must come with a warning though so others don't get confused or cause anxiety to those in a borderline suicidal state. Your case is not the norm. I don't think it ever will be. These are natural occurrences, albeit rare. No amount of force or therapy can cause this to happen. This provides evidence of neuroplasticity, but again, it is not the case for everyone. My advice would be to test the waters. If your sexual experience with a girl didn't excite you, you may be going through a temporary phase. Girls may be new and exciting but only time will tell if they will become an integral part of your sexual orientation or just a temporary thrill ride or phase.