How do you tell the difference between looking up to someone as a role model and being attracted them because you want to be like them vs. a real crush? I have a hard time figuring that out. It usually goes hand in hand with me. I'm kind of particular about the people I crush on. I've only had one relationship and it lasted almost three years (I was 16-19). It was with a guy. I've never had another experience of any sort with another person, male or female. I think I'm bisexual, because I crush on girls as well as the occasional guy. Right now the person I would be most likely to open up to is a girl, but I don't know if she's gay or not. I think she might be, but I'm not sure. She also works at the health club where I work, but in another department. We're friends on Facebook, but we're not exactly friends - we just talk at work when we see each other. I wish I knew what to do! Her name is Lauren and I really do like her. She's pretty cool. A little older than I am; I think she's 25. I just found out that she's moving to Hawaii for a few months to a year in January so I don't think I'll have the courage to find out if she's interested in me at all before she leaves. I wish it were like that book "Am I Blue?" and gay people would be blue, straight would not, and those that are in between would be light blue. Anyway, I'd love to hear any thoughts or opinions or even just what your own experiences have been.
I guess what I would say is start by asking yourself this question: Do you want to be her or be with her? That's how I realized that I had a crush on of my friend 'M', rather than just thinking of her as a mentor.
When I find a role model I like and want to be like them, I usually admire their strength or personality and think it's something I'd like to aspire to be when I "grow up".
Yeah, I'd say I am. I fantasize about kissing her, etc. The thing is, I've done that with other people before, too, but then later realized I didn't really want to be "with" them, it was more than I aspired to be "like" them. With Lauren I think it's different. More a reality than a fantasy, you know?
