I don't want to be gay

when you find that out let me know. good luck

 

You're 27? You're still young. Maybe you had latent homosexual desires throughout your teen years. I'm a strong believer in nobody is BORN gay. It just happens. Some people realise they're gay at 5, some at 40... It's like, if you deep down love blonde hair... It's one of your values, and it could change any time, out of the blue you meet a brunette and are smitten.

Also you should never feel shame or disgust for a simple desire. Homosexuality is natural... bisexuality is natural. If you are feeling guilt and shame and disgust you need to ask yourself why?? Is it a religious view? Is it something your parents/friends openly dislike? If you're feeling these feelings then some part of you approves of and encourages them.

So who or what is making you dislike yourself for a completely natural feeling?

 

Don't feel like you're being trapped in these new feelings. It's you. And you will only ever be you. There are still so many possibilities. You might find out you're bisexual and you're just currently feeling the need to explore the gay side that you've ignored all this time. You could be pansexual and maybe you're preference will change during different periods of your life. Or, if you are in fact just gay, then learn to take it one stop at a time.

I know first hand how scary discovering new feelings can be. I always identified as a regular male, but in recent years I fall spinning through a rush of emotions, landing on the reality that in many ways I feel more female than male. I was definitely scared at first, but I new that this was a part of myself, and I had to uncover it completely or else I would live in confusion and denial.

Try to approach this with the knowledge that there is no hiding from yourself--and that there is no reason you should be afraid of yourself. You're still in control of you, and you have every right to take this at your own pace.

Good luck, and we'll all be here for support!

 

Once I knew I was gay and that there was nothing I could do to change it, here's what helped me accept it the most:

1. TIME! This is probably the biggest one. It takes a lot of time to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Just know that it is who you are, and that denying this only makes yourself more miserable. Also during this time, try to stop looking at being gay as a negative thing in your life. I really hated the thought of being gay for quite a while, but then I realized how much I loved guys and that really they make me happy, and that my happiness is the most important thing for me.

2. Realize that being gay doesn't define you as a person.

3. Getting some supportive friends that you can share things with. Just talking to someone you trust about it is honestly amazing.

4. EC

 

Thank you...this is good advice. I think so many of us struggle with this.

 

I highly doubt you're "becoming more attracted" to guys. You may have been in deep denial before. If you put up these blocks like you don't want to be gay, that makes it harder to figure out if you are in the first place. So i would say the step is to try and let go of that fear.

Hey, if you're gay it's gonna be fine...If you're not it'll be fine. You don't have to go from here to sex with guys overnight either. I mean, do you want to be ashamed and disgusted with yourself always? Wouldn't you be happier just letting those feelings in instead of always fighting them? Try it out. You'll see in time that it's no big deal.

 

Dude, there are some awesome things about being gay. You get to enjoy the sexy men. Enjoying sexy men is one of the best things to enjoy. I'm not trying to be arrogant, but it sucks that straight guys don't get to enjoy and know how sexy men can be. Also, its awesome to be different. Once you accept that your gay, you'll be glad you did because its great to be yourself and know yourself.

---------- Post added 18th Nov 2013 at 06:22 PM ----------

Also, you shouldn't be ashamed to have sex with a man, there's nothing wrong with it. Sex is beautiful.

 

.. and maybe it does define you as a person, and that's not a bad thing.

We live in a terrible world. Dominated by exploitation, ruled by murderous thugs--an Empire of Money and Death. We queers, by being outsiders, have a unique opportunity to see this for what it is. Our heritage is one of bards, sorcerouses, medicine women, shamens.. the two-spirit people who carried the spiritual tradition of their tribes. If being queer sets us apart--we don't have to blend in! Maybe we shouldn't blend in! Maybe we are the ones who will point the way to a better world!
That's why I identify as a Radical Faerie!

 

I think that it something that you learn to accept, those feelings are not going to go away anytime soon, so after awhile you just learn how to deal. I always thought that I was straight too, until at 23 I found myself falling for a woman and having feelings way more profound than I ever had for a man. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I had to come to terms with it. You will be alright (hugs)

 

It can be really hard to accept it when you always thought you were straight, or maybe even were straight. All I can say is that whether or not these feelings are here to stay, you'll realize in time that spending time with someone you love is much more important than having a "normal" life like the one you expected. Also another thing that might help is when you meet someone, it won't matter if he's a guy.
I'm struggling a lot with my sexuality, I never thought I'd like men again and now I do, and I have issues with it because I find it hard to open up to men, but I realized I'll never be fully okay until I find someone, whether it lasts or not.

 

Some people coming to grips with their sexuality get caught up in some sort major dichotomy between "gay" and "straight". They'll think "I've always pictured myself with a woman", but when they start noticing their same-sex attraction, they think that means rainbow short-shorts and furtive one-night-stands. Nothing wrong with rainbow short-shorts and furtive one-night-stands if that's your cup of oolong, but being gay really only means one thing - you dig guys. Which means everything in your future fantasy - wife, kids, dogs, home in the country - is all still available. The only difference is your wife is gonna have a penis.

Lex