Im really confused and this has been eating me up, i asked this 3 times already. Im sexually attracted to girls, im straight. But about 2 weeks ago I was at work, finally becoming good friends with my co worer who was hard to become friends with in the first place. Then for 15 minutes he was talking to someone else, I didnt care that he was, didnt think anything of it. Then out of no where they were laughing and acting all like best friends and i was like "well wth guess we werent that close of friends". And im really freaking out that i said that now. Im not sure if it was jealousy or what. Im not even too sure of what exactly happend in that situation, but im afraid it means I like him as more than a friend. I dont really see how that is possible since I never think about him, I do not get butterflies around him, and I dont really care at all about him. Hes actually annoying. But Im freaking out major because of what I said in my head. I do have ocd and I obsess and make things worst than they are. But I really need help right now. Please anyone, help me. Does this mean I like him as more than a friend? Or what, was i just jealous or possibly not even jealous and was just mad or whatever? Help please ---------- Post added 18th Nov 2013 at 08:18 AM ---------- Please anyone help
People normally feel left out or annoyed when others are laughing and apparently bonding better than they just tried. This is just a regular social thing. You're over reacting just a bit. Besides, just because he laughed with someone else doesn't mean you're not friends. People have more than one friend, obviously.
I was going to give you a normal response to this question, then I got curious what brought you to this site in the first place as a straight guy, so I took a peak at some of the other threads you've started. It looks like you have no question that you're attracted to women. The thing you keep "obsessing" on is whether you're attracted to men also - i.e., whether you're straight or bi. It seems to me that the easiest solution to your problem is to stop caring whether you were attracted to guys or not. You could meet the girl of your dreams tomorrow, get married, and it wouldn't matter who else you could be attracted to anymore. Call me biased, but I don't see what there is to worry about. Maybe you can tell us a little about why you think this makes you "freak out"? Anyways, to actually answer your question: nothing in this thread is evidence that you're attracted to guys, in my opinion. People get jealous about friends they aren't attracted to all the time.
Yeah makes sense! I'm just grieving over wondering if I was jealous or not, and that if it was jealousy if it ment that I liked him. When all in all, I know I don't like him. I'm just not sure why I reacted how I did. I wasn't even that upset or mad I was just like "alright whatever" then the rest is history and I got on a crazy cycle of thinking lol ---------- Post added 19th Nov 2013 at 03:53 PM ---------- I was freaking out because in my head "jealousy" means you like someone. Idk if that is the case or not. But I wasn't jealous, they were talking and laughing for 15 min previous to what I said in my head. So It clearly didn't matter to me. I was just annoyed at the fact it was like we kinda weren't even friends so I said to myself "alright whatever" and as I just said, the rest after that is history I got into a crazy cycle of thinking. And to be honest I don't even remember the situation clearly at all. Idk how I reacted. I turn small things into a big deal. So for all I know I could have been like "oh wow cool" and not have really cared, but I over think and over react to everything so I probably blew it way out of proportion.
I get that part. My point was that you wouldn't have to worry about freaking out at all if you didn't care if you liked some guy. You said yourself you know you're attracted to women, so why's it matter if you're also attracted to men? It sounds like you're probably straight, but if you were less defensive about not finding guys attractive at all it'd be one less thing for you to needlessly worry about.
I'm not attracted to him! I'm not worried about attraction! I'm worried about the romantic part. Not sexual attraction. I'm not attracted to him at all he's gross. Idk if that helps you clear it up and see where I'm coming from now? And yes I'm starting to not care if I am because when I think about it, I'm not freaking out about it anymore. I could care less now. But it's mostly because I don't remember the situation and my reaction. My problem was figuring out the reaction I had and I didn't know if I was jealous or if I was just annoyed I wasn't really considers a friend or just annoyed at the fact that I just couldn't "bond" as well as they did like the other poster said. I could just care less whatever it was now tho because i got over it already. But I know I wasn't jealous because I could care less they were talking and laughing. Like I honestly do not care and didn't which Is why figuring this out was such a hassel. Because in order for me to calm down I need to figure everything out and try to get different views and figure out what it really was. Problem is I just don't remember at all. But I'm over it now idc what my reaction was. And like I said the whole attraction part is not a player in this. I'm not attracted to him at all he's disgusting. And the whole attraction thing I got over with anyways. I did what u said, but I did it a month ago. And within just a few weeks I finally calmed down and was able to make sense. Because I litterly just stopped worrying about who I like and wasn't afraid if I was bi and when i did stopped caring everything started fading away. And I was good for a few weeks. But me being crazy I was still looking for cues of the romantic part of me. And there was nothing but I jumped overboard with this one and it had me worried!! ---------- Post added 19th Nov 2013 at 04:36 PM ---------- I worry about everything too. So like I find every possible outcome to a situation and pick he worst one. I do it for everything not just this. I've done it for death, diseases, worrying about my family dying, worrying that friends don't like me, worrying if people talk behind my back. Or if people who laugh, are laughing at me or if the plane I'm on will crash. It's not fun, especially the plane one lol I freak out about every little noise. ---------- Post added 19th Nov 2013 at 04:43 PM ---------- But yeah! Otherwise I'm not gunna care if I like him or not. I'm not gunna make it a big deal. Just go and what happens happens. If I end up liking him oh well then no big deal
Haha ok! For the record I said "It sounds like you're probably straight" - I didn't say you were attracted to him lol. Sounds like you're on your way to not worrying about this kind of thing anymore, but still have a little way to go. Good luck to you, sir!
Nope yeah I feel so.much better ! Whatever it is, it is! Can't change it so whatever idc! I just wanna be rich in life so.im.focusing on that more importantly lmao
