Anyone else get this? I recently met up with a straight friend - very much just a friend - and as part of the conversation (it naturally came up) she mentioned that "of course" you do wonder with gay friends - apparently she's been wondering whether there's anything more to the fact that we've been meeting up (as friends) regularly from my point of view. ie. The implication was that she'd wondered whether I fancy her. I made light of it but inside I felt as though I'd been kicked in the stomach. She didn't mean to but it really hurt me. This has happened to me before: same-sex friends secretly thinking "does she fancy me?". And the thing is, being bi, does this mean that there basically NO ONE I can be friends with without the other person wondering if I fancy them? Am I not allowed to have friends? And is this getting in the way of me making close friends (I find it hard to make them). So annoying!!! Do other people find this and do you find it EVER goes away? Or do (some/all/many) friends continue to wonder whether you fancy them for all eternity??? ---------- Post added 18th Nov 2013 at 01:17 PM ---------- No idea why this is posted in the gender identity/expression forum - must have made a mistake when posting! Can someone move it to somewhere it belongs better please? Thanks!
Well, I'm trigender, not bi, but... One of my friends (a girl) thought that I was a lesbian, and assumed that I had a crush on her. The only reason why she thought I was lesbian, though, was because I liked the idea of being a guy and dressing up as one (plus I act like one too) so that really ticked me off. But it also kind of helped me figure out that I was trigender.
I would say they are the exception rather than the rule...although if you think about it, it's not like there isn't a trend of people assuming a straight person is only friends with members of the opposite sex because they want to get in their pants!
In my case, they wouldn't be wrong XD I wouldn't actively pursue my friends in that way, but I'm not against the idea.
I guess it must sometimes happen, sometimes not... it just really upset me for some reason. I was sitting there thinking I had made a really nice new friend, when she was thinking at the back of her head "does she fancy me?". I don't know why it's upset me so much! I guess it's because it's made me realise that some of my friends - no matter how it seems - react to me differently because of my sexuality. Also, sorry for posting in the wrong section!
Another mod moved the thread. We all post in the wrong section sometimes; it's fine. Yes, I had this happen too! When I first came out at school, several friends asked if I fancied them, and eventually I said I did (though I didn't) just so people would believe I was really bi. Lost a friendship that way. :/ However, it doesn't happen any more; nobody cares about my sexuality and they seem to have accepted that I can hang out with people just as friends.
my friend thinks i like him, or have something for him or some fuckin shit idk. sometimes he gets sketchy like if we bump legs he bugs out, which imo is sketchy itself.. but anyways, he walks around the fuckin place without a shirt on, no pants, just his like boxer briefs n its like, dont you think its a little fuckin gay to do that with a gay person around all alone? Lol, it is his pad, (ive known him for 7 years, just told him recently i was gay) but its sort of like still.. im not sure if its a attention thing, or if he just really likes to be 3/4 naked
