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I can't tell if I'm gay, straight, bisexual, or something else.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jasonpaul, Nov 19, 2013.

  1. jasonpaul

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    I'm a 21 y/o male. I always assumed I was straight growing up. I knew I was also attracted to guys, but since I was attracted to girls I never thought too much about it and since I acted "straight" I didn't get made fun of or questioned (that I know of). Besides, all of my friends and I played sports and would joke about gay stuff all the time, so I just assumed I was the same gay as them. But after going to college I fell in love with a guy, which was crazy. I assumed I was gay and had just been lying to myself. But now that I broke up with him, I realized that it was more about his personality than that he was a dude. Now whenever I'm jacking off I'll catch myself thinking about chicks at the last minute and coming right then. Or I start feeling grossed out thinking about gay stuff and will switch to straight stuff. It's like my orientation is changing back to straight. It's very confusing. But while i get more and more physically attracted to women, i also get less and less interested in them as anything but sex objects. I can't imagine myself EVER dating a woman after my last boyfriend, but at the same time I don't really have that strong of a desire to fuck dudes all the time. Basically, I want to date men, but fuck women. Has anyone else experienced this?

    I also am realizing I like violent sex (domination, submission, punishment, etc), regardless of the genders of the people involved. What does all this mean? I am very confused. :bang::bang::bang:
     
  2. Monika the Diva

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    It could be your bi-sexual, bi-curious or asexual but in this case I don't think u fit the asexual profile...
     
  3. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    It means you are discovering a new exciting gay side, in addition to your bland, typical hetero side. It is clear you are not straight and you are definitely not gay. The word for it is bisexual. A lot will marry women and fool with guys on the side. You're an interesting case. I am sure there's some that date other guys, but fool around with girls on the side. Your challenge will be to integrate this into your live and how you will live life with dual attractions. Being bisexual doesn't make you inferior to gay guys, but it does not make you any superior. Banging girls doesn't make you more masculine and banging guys doesn't make you more feminine. Just thought I drill this into your head. One question: Why rule out the possibility of women though?
     
  4. Robben

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    I lived a life with a feminine role even with other women. Many women have something I wanted. Yet in my experience I was learning how to have my men receive pleasure. There are still women who I relate to, and masturbation may not reveal what that experience will be. You need to let go of yourself, and let go of labeling. In fantasy like dreams labels don't exist. Perhaps you need to find the right man to tell your homosexual secrets to. You've let us know, but incoming down to Earth it is important and critical how having same sex relationships promises you a sex life that you desire. If you don't receive pleasure in thinking about same sex sexual relationships, it may be you are going through an unresolved disclosure that still needs to be met with some sense of personal motives and intuitive reconciliation. Do you feel you would like to try to have sex with the same gender?
     
  5. jasonpaul

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    I should add that I dated that guy I mentioned for 18 months before we broke up, and we had sex all the time. It's not like I haven't ever had gay sex and don't know what I'm missing lol
     
  6. newdown

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    "Basically, I want to date men, but fuck women. Has anyone else experienced this?"

    I'm the opposite (really only sexually attracted to men, more overall attraction to women), but I don't think this type of thing is all that uncommon for people who have some attraction to both sexes. The two genders are very different and bring different qualities to the table.
     
  7. blueberrymuffin

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    "Attracted to the person" is a common refrain...until the next guy you feel the same about. I doubt your orientation is changing, but you might like a Kinsey 1-2 or something and had just found the right guy. He probably won't be the last. Fucking a guy for 18 months isn't something fully straight guys do.