Hi all, A bit of background about me. I am 19 years old, male, and just started college. For as long as I can remember I have been really into girls. I have had great sex with one girlfriend over a 9 month period when I was 18 and made out with plenty more girls. Recently, I was circumcised. This summer, I smoked a lot of weed and had the thought 'what if i am gay?' Since then, it has obsessed me--watching gay porn, incessantly checking my groinal reaction, and checking to see if I find guys attractive. I have never had a crush on a guy but I am starting to become really confused because while I once found gay porn repulsive now I can watch it and get hard. I tried to have sex with a girl and couldn't get hard enough. I masturbate probably 10-11 times week and can't achieve the same type of erection I used to. I masturbate pretty exclusively to straight or lesbian porn. Did anyone here ever feel like they became gay as a last resort? I want to have satisfying sex with a girl but I am afraid I will never be able to again. I am supposed to sleep over with this girl tonight and everytime we make out I like it and get a chubs but I don't think I will be able to get hard enough for PiV. It feels like I might be turning gay but against my will. Has anyone else had an experience like this i.e. identified as straight 100% never questioned and then suddenly wasn't able to get it up with girls. I don't really think that I could be 100% hard with a guy either but it would be exciting because of the taboo. It's gotten to the point where I wish I was asexual so I wouldn't have to think about this. Do y'all think I'm just gay and in deep denial? Is it possible to be in denial and have lots of crushes on girls and never even think about boys? My mind is eating away at me.
