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Just need some advice

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by whatsgoinon, Nov 21, 2013.

  1. whatsgoinon

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    LONG....So about a year ago my friends all started asking if I was gay. Im 21 btw I didnt know how to respond because I personally felt like I was a raging testosterone heterosexual male, always trying to sleep with any girl. Standards were not too high at all, I'd take anything at some point of the night. Anyway this question made me ponder, was I gay and never realized it? I felt awkward around my friends thinking they all thought I was gay. Looking up on the internet taking gay tests, trying to see if I was attracted to gay porn to no avail. When when watching a show it him me, my friends were on the down low (no other term to describe it). When I mean my friends I mean every last one except one, who's just nieve guy. I realized this when we were all just drinking and kicking it. I asked one of them if they were gay and they said no, they were straight but all guys did this and only effeminate and insecure guys were gay and bi. So I'm surrounded by like 8 of my closet guys friend with a couple of their gfs and its literally a competition on whos going to get me first. One said he'd take me down right now, he said this right in front of his gf and she had no problem with; which further astounded me. All my friends are frat guys and get extremely hot girls which I was always jealous of, especially since none are really that much better looking than me. So I left the situation it just got too awkward.

    Fast forward to a school break. I'd felt awkward around my for about two months but the subject was never approached again besides one guy friend always trying to "chill and smoke alot now". So one of the dudes Ive grown up with and is in my frat. We go back home together and went out meeting up with old buds from high school. First thing he says when we get there is hey guys "X"(me) is aware now. They all start cracking up. Then start making jokes saying if I wanted to trade trunk for trunk they'd be more than willing. If i had become "red" yet. If Id been bro raped or gotten a bro job. So now its not my college friends but also high school. I freaked out I never thought I was homophobic but now i just felt really anxious and awkard around my boys. Now I think all guys do this in secret and constantly am looking up terms on the internet. Since I didnt want to participate I thought I was the gay one, checking to see if i was attracted to guys. Asking guys i knew in high school how they knew if they were gay. Even coming out one night to my parents thinking i was gay and told them of the situation. Mom left the room once dad started laughing hysterically and said thats just what boys do. What makes this worse is every last one of my friends and my dad are extremely homophobic. F*G this and that all the time. I never really joined in but not I just feel their such hypocrites now. I'm starting to just join in to feel included.

    I feel like theres a secret club im not apart of and scared to be apart of. I dont know if im gay beacuse of this. I thought i had hocd but one admin on here is very adamant thats a made up disease. i constantly think about this now, thinking every guy i meet is doing this making me feel awkward. i kind of want to just try it so i stop thinking and obsessing over it every day. This has lasted a year and i've slowaly became more reclusive and not going out as much due to feeling awkward around my boys. I study and hang out with my gf and have sex thats it no other social life now. I dont know what to do, should i just try this out to get it over with? If i dont how do I stop obsessing over it? and please is there anyone, anyone that has gone through this? Am i the gay one? Im on the internet 2-3 hours a day looking to see if this is normal. Fyi ive never had a gay thought until now, just never thought about it. and I have never been aroused by a guy
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Hold on...so a bunch of guys tell you, the self described "raging testosterone heterosexual male", that you're gay, and all of a sudden you think you're gay. Even thought you have no homosexual feelings what-so-ever?

    If I've read that right, you seem straight as you like with a bunch of arseholes for friends...
     
  3. Chip

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    ok, first off, college-age straight guys generally do not have anal sex with each other, do not give each other hand jobs or blow jobs, and do not masturbate together. Even when drunk.

    Once in a while, straight kids in junior high might jerk off together or in groups, but unless it is a persistent activity that continues over time, it's not something that indicates they're gay, and it doesn't continue on into college.

    So it seems that most likely, you have a bunch of friends who are either just assholes and essentially trying to play a practical joke on you (and frat guys are known for this sort of shit), or they are gay.

    And it should go without saying that it is certainly not true that "all guys do this" and that "only effeminate or insecure guys are gay."

    As far as you, from what I hear you saying, I don't hear anything to indicate you're gay. It doesn't sound like guys arouse you, you don't get off to gay porn, I'm guessing that you don't think about guys when you masturbate... so if all of those are true, I'd say the chances you are gay are pretty close to zero.

    And it sounds like you might need some new friends.
     
  4. whatsgoinon

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    See thats what I always thought. But when i have one on one convos with people they just say they do it to get off thats it. I know for a fact they do I've came close twice to trying it with my two of my best friends. Would you suggest trying it just to get it off my mind? or just to be better at ease with it. I like my friends I personally would consider myself an asshole, if your not its kind of hard to get girls, I know theyre not messing with me. Does them being so homophobic reinforce the thinking that theyre in the closet
     
  5. lowkey

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    Lol, i couldnt really read your post, the grammar, n missing words is awful,

    also im not sure where you heard 'girls like dicks' girls like confidence, you dont need to be a dick. there completely different things, n only a 'fool' would find someone attractive for being a dick. thats my 2 sense.