Hi, I am a 21 yr old male and I am really confused about my sexuality at the moment. I don't know what to write here but I'll give you the facts straight (heh): - When I was really young, I cross-dressed once or twice... but I rapidly grew out of it - I had a crush on a girl when I was about 10, and one when I was 11 (who I went out wiht briefly) - I went to an all boys high school and never had any homosexual experiences nor did I ever really want to; however I barely had much contact with the opposite sex - During my later teens I had a brief gf... I didn't get very far, just touched boob (and that turned me on at the time) - I have always felt something for the same sex, but I thought it was more 'Wow, he is cool, I bet he gets all the girls etc., why can't I be like him etc.' rather than an overt sexual attraction, although I definitely find the six pack etc. attractive - I masturbate to both straight porn and gay porn - it really depends on my mood... gay porn more as of the past year or so (and a phase where it was almost exclusively so)... but prior to that, I had never looked at any gay porn - I find myself checking out guys on the streets more than girls... but again, I don't know whether this is checking out or just thinking wow he is cool (yes, it sounds dumb!)... I get this mini rush feeling when I see an attractive guy, but only when I think about sex with girls do I get the same rush - if I think about having sex with a guy, sometimes it turns me on (normally when I'm masturbating to same sex porn) but other times I can't imagine doing it... by contrast, sex with a girl is always appealing - sometimes i think, if I had a really good body etc. then there is no way I'd be attracted to guys... but other times, I think that I am - one night a few weeks ago I became convinced that I was gay because I watched the gay porn and was turned on by it... but most of the time since I am adamant that I am not; but deep down I'm really confused - I haven't had any real close contact with girls... when I imagine being in a relationship, I want it to be with a girl but since i only know guys really well it makes it seem weird - i am a virgin - gay friends have come on to me before and sometimes I have considered doing something, but I am thinking whether this is just because I'm preoccupied with the notion that I may be gay and I should do something about it... rather than being turned on - people have thought I was gay because I act really 'anxious' all the time and a bit campy, but same people have said that's just when they first met me and I don't really act camp when I get to know people I am so confused EC. Can you help? Am I gay, straight, bi? Is it to do with my time in all boys school (i know that sounds dumb)? has anyone else experienced attraction to 'coolness'? Thanks
You seem to be attracted to guys. When I was younger, I went through the same phase of "admiring guys because I wanted to be like them". Except that wasn't actually the case. I was legitimately attracted to them.
You might be bi though, one way or another you can try experimenting first.... Well I dunno just a suggestion here. Good Luck on your quest! And whatever the result maybe, for sure you'll end up happy... =)
Ok so I had a little experiment with a guy today... I didn't really enjoy it at all. It took me ages to get anywhere ... whether this is because I was nervous I don't know. I'm pretty sure I'm not 100% gay, but I think I'm maybe hetero oriented bi... but it doesn't explain the satisfaction I gain from the porn? The actual act was pretty awful for me.
Hey Jan91, this was my experience too. I liked their hair, clothes, athletic bodies, and yes, how cool they were. :icon_wink I wanted to be friends with these guys and do stuff just the two of us. The thought of sitting side by side, tousling his hair, feeling his bare skin, waking up cuddled next to him, etc are things I never think to do with women. Are those things you'd want to do with the guys that catch your attention? How did this experiment with the guy come about? Is he someone you know and really like?
Yeah I kinda know what you mean, but it's not always necessarily a romantic thing ... if ever, really. I'm just worried it's because I've never EXPERIENCED a female as a REALLY close friend or partner, never had sex etc. When I was younger I used to watch straight porn... I'm mortified that if I actually went with my friends instead of doing my schoolwork and saw girls I might be more attracted to them... There's no doubt I have an attraction towards guys. I do masturbate to gay porn more often for the past yr or so - but I have had a lot of trouble and stress in the past year. I also find girls attractive. However it's weird. With girls, if I think about it, I can't wait to have sex with them. But for guys it's kind of a weird feeling as soon as I look at some of them... I have no idea what's up. Also I guess I'm mortified my family finds out... I wouldn't know what to say. Part of me just wants to rush into it and say I'm X, but I'm not sure yet! I wish I could experience with women and see what's that like. It feels like I may be having these thoughts just because I've been exposed to guys ALL my life... I have barely had contact with girls...!
My friend wasn't sure like you,and he tried to have sex with a girl,and it was bad for him,and that is how he realised that he is gay...I like to mess arround with girls,but I love having sex with my boyfriend too,you should try out both and feel what suits you best..
Yeah... the weird thing is, I don't think I was 'born this way.' When I did have a gf, I was really attracted to her, would get boners basically whenever we touched intimately... never had sex though. I can easily masturbate to straight porn, but when I look at hot girls I have to imagine having sex with them or whatever... except if they are really attractive. Now, looking at guys, I get a weird feeling. It doesn't feel like I want to have sex with them or anything, unless I really imagine it... Basically I'm pretty sure I'm not 100% straight nor am I 100% gay - I can find both sexes attractive. Usually, it would be girl that 'easily' turned me on... but I'm slightly concerned that it is becoming guys... just because of a lack of female contact maybe? Further, I find it difficult now to see myself in a relationship with a girl, BUT i think this is because I don't know many closely... and if I saw a topless guy and topless girl in real life, I don't know which I'd look at...! I'd really love a 'normal' (I know that sounds awful) family and I wish that these thoughts would go away (it's my final year at college... so it's extra disruptive!)
Well I'm in the same boat with you jan91 . I mean I'm a virgin , too . I never had sex with boys or girls . But I have fallen for my best friend for so long long time , before I knew about bisexuality . But somehow I never feel confused or questioned or anything like that . I just know I'm bisexual . About pornography , I sometimes watch porn but I find it boring . Somehow I can't get myself to watch straight porn . It's absolutely a huge turn-off to me honestly . I don't watch gay porn either because I love reading yaoi ( a kind of Japanese comics about boy love that contains sex scenes ) better . Hehe. Beside , I kinda like watching lesbian porn . It turns me on better than any porn . It doesn't mean that I don't find attractive and don't wanna have sex with guys . I think I can have sex with guys and girls as long as I have enough feeling for them . I need a relationship first . So to me , you sound bi-curious and it's nothing to confuse about it . It's just like a journey, a wonderful journey . Hehe . Enjoy it ! You might remain straight or become a fabulous bisexual man . It's all good .
thanks for your messages. it's pretty confusing... my opinion oscillates between me being straight, to bi, and sometimes to gay... I definitely can imagine myself having sex with women and the idea is appealing to me... but so are men's bodies, but not really having sex with them or being intimate with them.... my fear of relationships is probably because i haven't really been in one yet... i went out yesterday and got pretty drunk, and I wanted to get with girls really... i am a VERY anxious person though and i have these pervasive thoughts like 'should i be trying to get with guys?' now im confused about my sexuality it's pretty much dominating my thinking atm... and so almost any guy seems attractive when before this question came up in my mind i found a select few... so confusing! thanks for all your help everyone ---------- Post added 27th Nov 2013 at 12:53 PM ---------- oh and something else... my friends etc. joked that i was gay but lots of them said it was just because i acted anxious all the time and I was timid when i was younger... im worried that their opinions are influencing how I am feeling... like i SHOULD be gay because they said i am D:
