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Confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Fedilius, Nov 23, 2013.

  1. Fedilius

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    I've been questioning my sexuality for quite some time, starting when I was around 12. I noticed myself looking at boys and girls, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. So I kept pushing it to the back of my mind.

    I'm 18 now, and I'm ready to stop denying it. I find myself being sexually attracted to both men and women, but when it comes to romantic relationships I can only see myself with a man. I want to fall in love with a man, I want to marry a man, etc. Because of this, I don't know who I am. And not knowing who I am has always bothered me.

    I'm just confused.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    So just throwing it out there, but are you as of right now, prepared to say that you want the next person you have a relationship to be 'the one' or are you still comfortable dating people and seeing how it goes?

    The only reason I ask is because it sounds like even though you are mostly straight you have this sexual attraction to girls. I'm just thinking that it might be something you want to explore a bit and see so you don't end up like so many unfortunate others who ignored the (gay) sexual side in favour of the (straight) long-term relationship side and now wish they'd at least TRIED the gay sex once, because now they are married and the possibility isn't there.

    Just something to consider.
     
  3. Fedilius

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    I'm comfortable dating and seeing how it goes. I've never been in a relationship before, so I guess I'm not really sure as to what I truly want in a relationship. I've always wanted to experiment, but I've always felt like I'm holding back, if that makes any sense.
     
  4. BookDragon

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    As sort of, I could do this, but what if it goes wrong or I don't like it sort of thing?

    At the end of the day there is nothing inherently wrong with having a few short relationships just to get to know how they function and how you function within them. Because ideally what you want now is to be able to say 'I want THIS out of a relationship, and I can get it with...'. Will answering that question help you pick a gender? I wouldn't have thought so, but the experimenting you did to work it out certainly ought to help!
     
  5. Fedilius

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    Yeah, that's it. Plus I'm also really shy, so I tend to hold back in general. I've never asked anyone out or anything because I'm too shy to say anything about my feelings.

    I guess answering those questions won't truly help me decide which gender I prefer, and that's just how I've been perceiving it. I have yet to experiment, but hopefully I'll get over my shyness so that I'll be able to.
     
  6. Silver Sparrow

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    Sexual and romantic attraction are different things, and it is certainly possible to be sexually attracted to some people but not be emotionally attracted. That might be something about which to think.
     
  7. lovely lesbian

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    You just be curious I think a lot of straight people are it does sound like you are straight just a little bit curious nothing wrong with that.
     
  8. Robben

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    You might try exposing your feelings to the same gender, by holding conversations about what you like about both male and females, they may provide you with some direction as to the type of person you are attracted to. I'd hate to see you being hurt by exposing a same sex attraction to a man who didn't understand. Don't let your feelings about being a lesbian put you in the position where you are taken advantage of.