Alright guys, I'd just like some advice. I'm a 23 year old out in the working world and would really like to figure things out once and for all. Basically, starting from age 12 until about 18 I had almost ONLY homosexual attractions. However, in late high school I did find myself a girlfriend who I liked. We never had sex but I definitely enjoyed hooking up with her. Then in college I had a few more relationships with women. I lost my virginity my sophomore year. I also had several one night stands. However, I have never been able to reach orgasm when with a woman. Some of the sex was pretty good (ESPECIALLY those inside of a relationship) despite the inability to reach O. I have also had a lot of erectile issues. I think a large part of it is performance anxiety, but maybe that's me just telling myself that. As for my gay experiences? When I was 19 I met up with a guy from the internet. It was actually pretty erotic, and he managed to get me off with a hand job. I did not like giving head though, at all. I felt terrible about myself after the experience (I come from a VERY conservative/religious household and am quite religious myself) and did not really want to try it again. Well, eventually I gave into my attractions my senior year in college. I started talking to this guy online and finally met up with him. It was ok, although I had a pretty hard time keeping an erection. I really didn't like giving head despite him being nicely sized (which is odd, because that is my favorite part of gay porn). Another thing to note--- we had to sneak around in his room with his door locked. He was still living with his parents and he was in the closet at the time as well. Anyway, I never managed to orgasm and despite him really REALLY wanting to meet up again... I never agreed to it. Nowadays, I watch a good mixture of homosexual and heterosexual porn. Definitely more homosexual porn I suppose. But when I have fantasies without porn, it is definitely more heterosexual fantasies. Basically, I want to have a satisfying sexual encounter EVENTUALLY. I really don't think I'm asexual because I am literally CONSTANTLY thinking about sex... to the point that it is probably unhealthy. I mean, I masterbate allll the time. I kind of want to have another gay encounter but I don't want it to be another huge letdown. Then another part of me wants to get into another meaningful relationship with a women and see how that goes. I don't know... what do y'all think?
