Okay, so I came out to my friends on Facebook like 2-3 months ago maybe 4? i dont know and i came out saying, i liked girls and after a while, people started asking me "are you bisexual or lesbian?" and for some reason, i feel so shaky when i tell them lesbian.and recently, my sister was telling me she doesn't believe me because i dated guys and told her when i was younger how cute they were, and what not. and now my friends are weighing in on me. saying "i thought you dated guys?" and when i was 12.... me and this guy had oral sex and now my ex boyfriend is saying "you can't be lesbian because you did that" and everyone is bringing up stuff i said or did in the past to say im not lesbian... i kissed guys and did some other stuff but i never had sex. and i just don't know what to say whenever someone asks.....its not that im unsure, its just....should I believe them? has anyone gone through this before?
People have this habit of getting involved in other peoples sexuality as if it affects them. Just be who you know you are.
Only you can know your sexuality for sure, so don't let others convince you that you are not a lesbian if you feel that lesbian is the best identity for you.
You could always point out that their argument has no logic to it what-so-ever. You did this in the past therefore you MUST want to do it again. You did this in the past therefore you MUST NOT want to do it with girls. Not to mention you said last time that a bunch of them don't even think bisexuality is a thing! How on earth do they explain your current attraction to girls! As the others have said, you know how you feel, don't let them change that even if they are being a pain in the butt!
ElliaOtaku I gotta say that I enjoy reading every single reply of you . I can't disagree with anything you mentioned above . Yeah , you are the only one who really know who you attracted to . Nobody can't change that . So if you feel like you're lesbian either bi , go for it . Sometime I'm so sick of how stupid people are , honestly .
I get that a lot, especially since I have kids. I simply tell people that I had a difficult time accepting my sexuality and that I thought I could change. However, I realized that I don't owe anyone an explanation and neither do you. Next time they ask you, tell them that your past is irrelevant.
Then don't tell them. Who are they to question how you feel? They can believe it or deny it as long as it doesn't change they way you act!
see the thing is - you know who you are so you just stand by it. Not everyone can be "Gold Star" and it is not right for anyone to insist that you have to be. Anyone who self declares as female and is attracted exclusively to females is lesbian to me. The past is the past. I have dated men and even had actual sex with some of them - I still consider myself a lesbian, I needed to deal with things about religion and stuff before coming out - that was my problem. so just tell them you know who you are and if they don't like it forget what they say.
"The past is past", just like givepeaceachanc has stated. You're the only person who's allowed to label yourself, every one else's' opinion does not matter. I wish I was as confident as you are when I was your age. I was afraid of my feelings for women, so I denied them and proceeded construction on my closet. The next time they ask you these silly questions, ask them how do they know if they're straight if they have never been with the same sex...
