E'llo there!! I'm 19 and came to the realization about a year ago that I was a lesbian. I haven't always known this, however, as my past attractions are quite a cocktail of boys and girls. I had crushes only on boys when I was younger, then developed an attraction to other girls in my teens. Like I've said, I've had mad crushes on both, but only feel sexually attracted to girls. I'd accepted this, slapped on the "Lesbian" label and called it a day. This label felt natural. But I've never been emotionally nor romantically attracted to other girls, only guys. Vice versa for sexually. I met this guy 6 months ago. He's separated from his wife, and before I came along they'd planned this. Neither have been happy for a while. We were just friends, but our relationship took an extremely fast, baffling turn. We've never physically cheated, and he is seperated. But I think I've fallen hard for this guy. We talk constantly, share everything and connect on EVERY level. He makes me feel beautiful and alive for once. And SPECIAL. We've discussed everything, and as damaging as I knew it would be..... I came out to him. He said we'd still be the best of friends and I tried to distance myself, but I literally COULD NOT. I couldn't be anything less than this girl who loves him. I tried. I failed miserably because I can't explain these feelings. I want everything with him. I imagine everything with him. We've even discussed the sexual aspect, and how I want to fulfill his needs and he said we'd work around ways to fulfill mine. Ahhhaha And I'm also a virgin, so I've never had real experience with anyone of either gender. But, my question is.... is my label wrong? Should I Wait to label myself when I've had experience? I seriously love this guy, which I didn't think was possible.
The way you describe it, it may be difficult to really validate your feelings without some experience if you're not entirely sure. If you really imagine yourself being with this guy, than I would honestly say that should take precedence so long as it feels right to you. Still, if you need a label, I would say you describe yourself as hetero-romantic/homosexual (or possibly bi-sexual/leaning-homosexual).
Firstly, I gotta say I LOVE Gone with the wind and the quote you put and also your nickname . I'm a book addict . Now back to your problem , all I wanna say is don't think too much of label. You just love who you love . You gotta try so you"ll know . What if you really like to make love to him ? Anything can happen . I know this sounds cheesy but follow your heart . Don't try to run away from your feeling . We all know it's useless . Hehe.
