So, there's this cute guy in my Chemistry class I really like him and I'm like 95% sure he's gay, I've caught him checking me out a few times and when I make eye contact he gets all blushy and stares at his desk. It's pretty adorable. But he's also painfully shy which only makes him cuter to me and I'm fairly outgoing so I was just wondering if you guys can help me approach him so I won't make him uncomfortable?
Sounds like you might have an introvert on your hands. Even so, many of the things that are true for shy people are not true for introverts and vice versa. Shyness and introversion are two different things! OK, now onto the actual advice. Try not to approach him in a large group of people. This can make the introvert uncomfortable. Don't overwhelm him or ask a ton of questions at once. Read his signals and be very careful to follow them. If he wants you to go away, go away. Listen to him. I can't think of too much else. Keep us updated!
Silver Sparrow said it well. I am on the opposite end of this, being an introvert and have a crush on a more extroverted guy in my chemistry class. I'm not shy to my friends, but I find it hard to approach my crush. Definitely as mentioned above, I would prefer one-on-one talks, and being in class makes it hard when I think other people who suspect I'm into him are observing. Also, ask open-ended, "non-emotional" questions about him, like what his interests are or what he does for fun. Introverts don't do well with expressing their feelings out loud, especially to strangers. Like in all things, you want to be friends first. Their eyes will light up when they're talking about something that they're interested in and probably have spent time researching. Once they see that you're really listening to them (this is surprisingly hard for many people), they will remember you. Often times, introverts will clam up if someone else dominates a conversation.
Like Silver_Sparrow said, try to approach him one-on-one. If he's still awfully shy just with you, you get a bit of a challenge, but that's the fun part, right? Either way, ask him to coffee, or something like that, so the two of you can talk, just the two of you.
Also, remember that the main thing with introverts is that they are easily overstimulated by their environment and it's "energy-draining" for them to interact with others, which is why they need time alone. In contrast, extroverts are often understimulated and thus need regular contact with others to "gain energy." So, don't give up if this guy seems to be not warming up to you immediately.
Thanks for the advice guys! He overheard me tell my story of being hit on by a very eager bunch of gay mormons (don't ask) which he really seemed to enjoy so...who knows!
Keep us updated on what goes on. Good luck on talking to him more. I'm an introvert too and very shy as well, but once I get to know the person well enough I won't ever shush up. :lol: Make sure when you talk to him, talk to him alone and in a quiet surrounding. I'm sure overtime he'll open up to you.
So it's been ages since I wrote this but I'd thought I'd give a little update, we're pretty good friends now! Finding out we're both into Legend of Zelda was fun, a lot of what we talk about is stupid but he makes me laugh. It's close to the end of term and everyone is taking days off (You can get a certain amount of days off until you lose an exam exemption) and I mentioned I wasn't showing up Friday and he said he probably wouldn't bother showing up either so we might meet up and do something. Looking forward to it!
