Seriously need help. Please!

I have the same problem. Sometimes I feel like I might be attracted to guys, but I also have reasons to believe that I'm not attracted to guys. I even identified as bi for about a year, but I realized that it didn't feel right. Sorry I'm not that much help.

 

I used to try to put myself into little boxes to make everything fit. That only made things worse.
The only thing you can do, or rather what I did, is to recognize that sexuallity is a fluent thing and that not all attractions mean something.
Take for instance a lot of fan girls/guys, they think they are in love with a band because their music hits a certain spot within them. They confuse excitement and awe with love.

I was in a very long relationship with a man even though I am not of that orientation. I just loved him too much to let my sexuality get in the way.

When you go out, try not to overthink things like looking at a person and trying to figure out if you are attracted to this person or not or wheither it means anything for your sexuality. Just empty your head and try to go with your gut instinct and what feels natrual for you.
Relax and remember that your sexuality doesn't define who or what you are, it is just a very important fundemental thing.
Why try to limit yourself before you know who you truely are? Instead of putting yourself in boxes and se if they feel right on you, try to be in touch and balance with yourself and things will become clear.

I hope this made sense, it is a very difficult thing to explain. I wish you the best of luck.

 

I will use the term LGBT to describe myself, even though I'm definitely not L or T. Even though I most strongly identify as bi, it's a way to align myself with the larger queer community.

 

Possibly bisexual. How old are you> I would wait awhile until it becomes more clear. I would NOT set on anything right now since your confused. the second u force yourself one way or the other it wont feel right. Just let time play it out and eventually it will become clear. Thinking back on the past relationships? There is no way to tell if they were forced im sorry! You could think they were that way, but in the moment u really dont know if it was or not!! i mean you would have known the second u forced them. Not years after the fact.

 

Sexuality seems very fluid, and difficult to define with complete accuracy. Which is annoying since our brains are designed to categorize stuff. As long as you manage to be comfortable with who you are, it shouldn't be a problem if you don't conform to one of the popular labels for sexuality.

 

Don't try to label yourself.. If you imagine have a wife, sex with girls, but you only "like" guys. You could be a lesbian. If say you wanted sex with guys, you'd be bi, but if you have no attraction to have sex with a man.. You're a lesbian.. Perfectly chill, but why do you need to label yourself?

 

Panda is totally right. Little boxes are not the way to live. I mean, what's that saying? Think outside the box!

No, but in all seriousness, I was introduced to a term once that I'd never heard before called heteronormativity. NOW, that being said, I think there ARE (especially on tumblr where I heard it), there a lot of... extreme views regarding this, but here's a mild one. We do grow up in a world where it's normal and accepted to be straight. Where we are assumed to be attracted to the opposite sex until we 'come out'. Straight couples are in movies, on TV, around us every day. This is changing, but slowly. As an example, I'm only 21. The first time I ever heard ANYTHING about what being gay was, was when they started me calling a dyke in school. I didn't really get it. What the hell was that? Some internet searches revealed some things I'd never heard of before, and I was freaked out.

The point in all of this text is that perhaps you were forcing those feelings because it was assumed that it was what you were supposed to feel. (OR perhaps you really do have an attraction to guys, but from the sounds of it, you just want them as friends.) Don't focus on labels, especially if you have an aversion to them, because it takes away from focusing on you and what makes you happy. If the label doesn't make you happy, don't take it. But don't do what makes you unhappy either. It's really not anyone's business but yours who you're into, so if they're asking you don't have to answer. Or you could say, "I don't know." or even, "I don't rule anything out." But just do what makes you happy, labels are just that, because I mean... you shove a "Pear" label on a jar of apples, it's still gonna taste like pears.

 

At your age, try not to worry too much about what you are. Obviously it's difficult in a society which is fighting tooth and nail at the moment over every little label, and as a result everyone is frantically pigeon-holing themselves and others.

The truth is, you don't actually need to 'be' anything. Respond to each individual attraction as it comes, and deal with it as a self-containing thing, not as evidence that you 'are' straight, gay, bi or anything else. After all, you don't need to know whether you are gay/bi/otherwise queer to be attracted to a girl, it'll happen anyway.

It can be very hard, particularly at your age, to decide if you are 'attracted to boys' or 'attracted to girls'. Much easier to think about whether you are attracted to an individual, and not worry about what their gender means for your identity. It's the quickest way to be happy, and the bigger picture will probably come clear eventually on its own.

(*hug*)