Whenever I'm out in public I always avoid checking out girls for too long. I do the same with guys because I also feel biphobic towards myself. I don't even know if I actually like guys. I hope I don't. I don't want to be bi. Whenever I'm talking to a guy I get scared that I'm attracted to him or he is attracted to me. I just feel disgusted with myself for no good reason.
I used to suffer from internalized homophobia as well. For some, it is a process along the lines of elimination of the five stages of grief. Its normal to be afraid because accepting my sexuality was very difficult. I'd avoid contact with women who I found attractive because I didn't want them to catch on. I would date guys just to convince myself that I wasn't gay, but doing so confused me even more. However, after I accepted myself I would avoid men in hopes that they would not speak to me, which meant that I'd have to come out once again. Especially, since I'm very feminine, people automatically assume that I'm straight. I'd recommend that you stop avoiding women. Just allow yourself to embrace your feelings for women. I know it can be quite overwhelming at first, but you'll be glad that you did.
