I've been asking for advice on how to label my sexuality for years. A lot of people told me not to label myself. I haven't bothered with that advice until now. The problem I have is that no one has told me how not to label myself. I really need advice on that. I have tried not labeling myself. That works out for a day or two. After that I start obsessing over finding a label. I often hear voices in my head telling me that having no label is code for being bisexual. I've tried distracting myself with my hobbies, but I'm still quite obsessed. I want to be able to either label myself or not label myself. I can't seem to do either. I'll be in a horrible limbo until I can figure out how to do one of those things.
The human brain generally does badly with ambiguity. If you don't want a label, then I suggest you don't think about the issue. Trying not to label yourself might give you some sense of peace, but it could just as easily backfire and make you more obsessed... If you change your mind, then... Think about who you're attracted to. Why you're attracted to them. What you want to do to them. If you have a bunch of "symptoms", you could make a label out of those.
I have tried this is. It kind of works, but then it stops working. I know. :bang: I am attracted to girls. I don't know if I like guys or not. This is the main problem. I don't know why I can't figure it out. I just can't. I identified as gay. I felt like I liked boys, so I identified as bi instead. The bi label felt wrong, so I went back to feeling confused. Then I identify as gay again and the cycle continues.
Is it possible that your romantic or sensual orientation varies from your sexual orientation? I went through the same process as it seems like you're going through until I found out about other types of attraction when it became apparent to me that I'm biromantic bisensual homosexual.
By themselves, labels are not bad things. The problem comes when people use or misuse them for their own counterproductive purposes. If we are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender, then these words help to define how we view ourselves and how we align ourselves. However, when we use these terms to hurt or divide, that's where the danger is. It becomes a tool that people will attempt to use against us. However, remember that a given label only conveys some of the description but not all. I identify as Bisexual, but all that says is that I have attractions towards both sexes. What it doesn't say is where I fall on the spectrum or what my current situation is. In other words, it is just one piece of information. It is only a problem it someone tries to extrapolate it incorrectly or for their own purposes. Further, given your age, there is ABSOLUTELY no reason to rush to any conclusion. Let things evolve. This is a situation where the journey, and what it tells you, is important. The truth is out there, but it just needs to be discovered - eventually...
