Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I've been searching for a place to give me some advice. Basically, I'm 25 and am 14 months into my third relationship. All of my relationships have been with guys and I've always identified as gay. When I was 12-16 I used to masturbate to straight porn to try to "cute myself" but I had grown to accept that I was gay. I don't like to experiment by slutting around because then I'd just feel guilty and ashamed of myself, because I wouldn't like to date someone that had slept with lots of people. However, my current boyfriend and I like to do some kinky stuff now and then and since we have both effeminate bodies, we do cross dressing occasionally involving corsets etc. I never would've thought I would enjoy something like that until I met him. He is bisexual and says he prefers men and women equally, so since I met him it has made me look at women differently. I've never had a female friend, or even known a woman intimately or had a personal conversation with one. The main reasons I was basing my sexuality on being gay was because I find the look of vaginas a turn off, but my bf says he doesn't like the look of them either, but he was in a relationship with a girl for 5 years. I keep having these doubts and these "what ifs" because I see women sometimes and get kind of turned on by them, but it's maybe one in a million and usually only involves the clothes they are wearing. I don't seem to find naked women a turn on. But I just keep worrying that if I haven't tried it, I don't know if I like it and I might even be happier and "more normal" and able to be accepted by society without having to worry as much. Like I said I feel secure being gay, just that being with a woman would be easier as I'm sure everyone would agree. So my questions is, do any gay people here experience doubts or curiosities? Thanks for any help and advice
I can totally relate and am in a similar place right now. I have also identified as gay for a while now and have only dated men. I also feel like I get very confused with my attraction towards women. Do I just think they're beautiful or do I feel sexual attraction towards them? I honestly don't know. My advice would be to do what I'm working on doing right now: experiment as much as you feel comfortable and try to accept that no matter what your sexuality turns out to be, it will not change who you are at your core. I know I can get caught up in feeling like who I am is defined by my sexuality as I think many people do. Don't do that. It will only cause you pain and frustration. For now try to enjoy that you are in a happy relationship and take things as they come. Sexuality takes a long time to figure out (it's been 8 years since I stopped denying my sexuality and I'm still confused) and there's nothing wrong with that. Try to be patient with yourself and be ok with who you are right now. Things will become more clear as time progresses. Hugs and best of luck!
Thanks for your reply I can't really experiment as my relationship is monogamous but you gave some really good advice and it made me feel a bit better, so thanks
No problem! That advice was as much for me as it was for you. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this either.
