In denial?

Where do i start here .. i just turned 22, i'm a female and am seriously questioning my sexuality. I have only dated one guy in my life, from the ages of 17-19, and have never had sex with or done anything sexually with a guy consensually. This boyfriend never forced anything on me in anyway, but i mainly dated him because it was the 'right' thing to do. I was sexually abused by a male member of my family for many years throughout my childhood, and part of me wonders, is this the reason that i cannot become sexually involved with men? I have no desire at all to kiss, have sex or anything around that topic with a man. I have kissed guys in the past, and have never felt a connection.
I think i have always known deep down that i do not feel the same way others girls do about dating men, my feelings were just never there, i never understood the need to date anybody, to be connected with anybody or to have sex with somebody, because i just had no desire. Until recently when i met a girl online.
We have been talking for 2 years, met a few times, she lives in a different country to me right now, and the emotional connection i seem to have formed for her is something i have never felt before. I want to speak to her all the time, be around her all the time, the thought of kissing her or having sex with her is something that excites me, something i think i desire. She is straight, but has had a long lasting relationship with one woman in the past, and has recently admitted some feelings for me. I just don't know what this means, every part of me screams that i don't want to be gay, i want to like men, marry and have children, but would that leave me unhappy for the rest of my life? Am i in denial here? I have crushes on woman i see, celebrities etc. I think men are attractive to look at, but that's as far as it goes for me. I'm just so confused here. I guess i'm looking to see how some other people on this site knew they were gay, and what their journey to self discovery was.