Hi, I'm Ryan. I've recently been really flipping on what I think about my sexual orientation. For my early life, I thought that I was straight. Then, starting around seventh grade or so until today (I'm 15 BTW) I've been going on and off to thinking I'm straight, gay, and bisexual...now I'm really not sure. I think I might be bisexual, but I'm not sure what I'm more of (predominantly homosexual or predominantly hetero). For the past few months I've been having almost exclusively homosexual fantasies and the like...and so I thought I was gay. But now some hetero fantasies have begun to resurface...but it's complicated. Most of my crushes in schools have become guys, although if I see a picture of a scantly-clad beautiful woman online, I will get turned on (same with a man, but not really sure which one has the greater effect on me). When it comes to a romantic relationship, well, I haven't really dated either a man or a woman, but I always get the feeling that I'm the more submissive type and if I did date, I'd prefer to have a more dominant male as a partner rather than a female (in the romantic aspect of things). But I don't know. Sometimes I have the feeling that if I confess that I'm gay, which I'm not sure if I am or not, then it will make some of my kind of feminine actions seem more justified. So because of that, part of me wants to be gay/bi. But I know I have some sort of attraction towards men. I also have some for women too. So, I know some of that might be kinda rambling, but the fact of the matter is I'm at a loss. If I am bisexual, I don't know what slight preference for gender I have, and which one might be better suited for me. Can any of you try to help me? Maybe give me tips on how to become a bit clearer about who I am? If you all have any questions to make things clearer I'll do my best.
The annoying thing about being a teenager is that a lot of the brain is still settling, so it can be very hard to tell which way you lean, but some hetero fantasies doesn't necessarily mean straight like some gay fantasies don't mean gay or bi. If you're mostly having homosexual fantasies you're probably gay, but you could easily be bi, only you can really be sure. It'll probably become more clear as time goes on though.
It sounds to me like you're probably bisexual, although like you say it's hard to identify where on that spectrum you fall. I suppose the most important part is to go along for the ride and realize that, as the above poster said, it will most likely become more clear to you as you go along. I do wonder though, is it really important for you to know where on the spectrum you fall? I think it's going to depend on who we're talking about and how you feel about them and more importantly doing whatever feels right and makes you happy. While I agree that pinpointing yourself sure would help alleviate the confusion, it's likely to be less concrete and even if you do find yourself at a single spot, that could very well move around depending on your evolving interests. Either way I think it's good that you're recognizing these feelings and trying to figure yourself out.
