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Super confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by lemontree606, Dec 4, 2013.

  1. lemontree606

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I think that should be my problem for not knowing which gender I prefer the most. Actually I thought I was a lesbian for a long time since middle school to high school(which I was very comfortable about) . However, after an online relationship with a girl I lost all feelings for other females and the largest change in me is that I am super shy when I talk with girls but guys.

    And then recently, when I watched some youtube video I found guys could be more attractive and sexy I thought I was attracted to them. I was feeling conflicted when I like them because that is never happened before during the time in high school.

    I hate the changes in myself and I don't know how to deal with them. I had search topics on the forum and I may think that maybe I am like what other people say about "going through a phase"?
     
  2. Dyingalone

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Have you ever had a relationship with a guy?
     
  3. savannah99

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    I've heard a lot about people who experience these strange rifts where they go back and forth between being attracted to males and females. I also have had this happen quite a bit, although I can't say as though my feelings for girls have ever completely disappeared. I think some of it may have to do with hormonal and/or emotional changes in your life.

    As for what to do about it, maybe you should accept that you are prone to these changes and make sure to be open about it with whomever you're considering dating or getting close with, that way it won't come as a shock to them if suddenly in the middle of your relationship you lose interest in their gender.

    Edit: I just wanted to add that I agree to the possibility of it just being a phase. It's really hard to tell. If it happens again, you will be able to assume that you may just be reacting strongly to emotional stress in this way. But if it lasts a long time or if it doesnt happen again, it may be a legitimate change.
     
    #3 savannah99, Dec 5, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2013
  4. Lindsay11

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    Not out at all
    You didn't post your age, but it appears that you are rather young. What you are going through is normal for a lot of people who don't have your courage in posting it and asking about it. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, it just means that you are experiencing a confusing time. Find someone close to talk to if possible. It will make a difference in how you feel and how you navigate through this time.
     
  5. lemontree606

    Regular Member

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    Wow, thanks for the feedback, I really,really appreciated them.

    To Dyingalone,

    No, I havn't. But I guess I should give it a try?

    To savannah99,

    You are right.Thanks for your explanation to my situation. Maybe I should learn to accept the change of myself. I never expect there would be changes in myself after 20 years.Or I should say life is making a joke on me? It is funny and ironic to look back what I have told one of my christian friends, "no, I won't be changed!"

    To Lindsay11,

    I am 20. And yes it is a confusing time. I had talk with my friend, but sadly she said that the change is normal and good for me (because she is straight). So she cannot relate to the feeling of struggles in me. It is like a straight male found guilty himself that he has feeling for another male. But I will try to accept the feelings in myself.

    Hope everyone has a nice day.