So. Heres the scoop. Im 21, ive been out of the closet since i was seventeen. Ive always identified as a lesbian. Back in highschool, i dated men. But, I never felt that spark. Never got feelings for them. Nothing. Then i met my first love, a woman, and i just knew. She was everything. We broke up almost two years later and i only dated women. It made sense to me, i am attracted to and love women. Recently, i have found out about myself that i am attracted to FtM transgenders and that was very confusing for me. But i worked through it and eventually wasnt so confused. Im just a lesbian who is also attracted to ftms. No big deal. Well, i met this guy. And weve grown very close. He has openly admitted to having feelings for me. And ive discovered that my own feelings have been growing in return. What? This makes no sense to me. Ive always known who i am and now life is throwing a curveball straight into my sexuality and confusing the hell out of me. I know that sexuality is pretty fluid, and i might be young but its always been pretty obvious to me that i was a lesbian. And i know its just a title, but that title was all i had to go off of. Ive had a really rough life and have struggled to figure out who i am. Now that ive finally got it figured out who i am, im confused and back to square one. I know I'm romantically, physically, and emotionally attracted to women, but i cant shake this feeling that i get around him. Any advice would help...
Hi Trinadon, and welcome to EC! Just for the sake of clarity, is the guy ftm? If not, well, this just goes to show that labels are for soup cans, or prescription medicines, to be kept out of the reach of children. By that I mean, you fall in love with a person, first and foremost. Tom Daley fell in love with a man, but he "still fancies women". One of our members, "Rarareva", fell in love with his male roommate, he never thought of himself as gay, but it happens. What this is, is nature's way of getting you back to reality. Attractions are mysterious things; to me, labels have a purpose similar to the "working title" that authors use before finally settling down to the final title of the book: until you have a relationship, your definitions of yourself are but works in progress.
Could he be your 'only exception?' That is, you may be a little bisexual and you just never realised it before?
Well.....this seems to be a common problem. I have going through things like this like OCD and all. All my life I tried to be something I am not....and now OCD hits when the card is on the table. Its like life has to be sad all the time. :'(
